always ↬ leading me on || l.dh • h.rj • z.cl

·fourteen·

"Renjun!" A familar, surprised voice greeted him as he walked into the Zhong Mansion, a butler having opened the door when he saw that Chenle was with him.

"Auntie, it's so nice to see you again," he smiled as he carefully placed Chenle on a sofa in one of the large living rooms.

He was wrapped up in a hug by Chenle's mother immediately after she'd waltzed across the room towards him.

"I can't believe you're here Renjun, you've grown so much," she gushed in Mandarin as she grabbed his face to inspect his features from a closer perspective, "you look even more handsome now."

Renjun chuckled at her dramatic behaviour as he let the feelings of nostalgia wash over him.

Looking at the woman now, bought back so many memories, he remembered the way she would always let him stay at their house whenever his parents were busy with work, telling him that he should never be in his house alone lest something happens to him. She'd treat him like her second son, going to all of the major events in his childhood that his own mother couldn't attend. She'd always be the first to engulf him in a hug after even the smallest achievement. The same with Chenle's father as well. And Chenle. They all made him feel loved, like he belonged.

‣‣

"Chenle said that you'd arrive next week. If I'd known you were here sooner I'd already have a room ready for you," the blonde's mother said as she rushed to tell one of the staff to prepare a room for the black haired boy.

"Ah, you really don't have to Aunt, my luggage is still at the hotel as w-"

"Nonsense Jun, Chenle hasn't shut up about you coming here ever since you told him. He'll be sad if you don't stay to make up for all the time you've missed together," she said, waving him off. Renjun had to swallow back his guilt when she said that, Chenle had been waiting.

For him.

"I-I'll go take Chenle to his room then, he's had a long day at school."

Chenle's mother nodded, sending her sleeping son a worried glance before brightening up at the image of them together once again.

She too missed Renjun, but she missed the smile that only he was able to bring to Chenle's face even more. Her son hadn't been the same after they had to move and leave the elder behind.

She understood why though, Chenle was in love — it didn't take a genius to guess and she'd known way before her son had admitted it to her.

She supported him wholeheartedly of course, but it always hurt her to hear her son sobbing silently in the night when he thought she had gone to sleep. It was a big mansion, but she didn't even need to stand outside his bedroom door to hear his pain. She could feel it.

The way he longed for Renjun.

She couldn't force Renjun to love Chenle either, and maybe that hurt even more. Knowing that there was always the possibility Renjun wouldn't feel the same, she knew that Renjun loved Chenle as a brother and friend. It was obvious. What she didn't know was if he loved him anymore than that, if his love stretched as far as Chenle's. She wasn't ready to see her son hurt. She wasn't ready to see the way it would effect the two's relationship if he was. She wasn't ready to lose either of them, but she knew that she'd lose both if Chenle's feelings weren't requited.

Sometimes she felt that she worried about it more than Chenle did. He was always so preoccupied with missing Renjun and while that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, she wondered if her son had ever truly thought about how much it would break him to be rejected. If it was anyone else, it wouldn't make a difference.

But this was Renjun.

The boy that he'd loved since forever, through all of his past relationships and all of his present ones. He could say 'I love you' to anyone, but he only ever truly meant it when he said it to Renjun. Renjun who was always there for him, the first person he'd open up to about his problems. He wouldn't do that with anyone else, not even she knew about his issues before the ravenette.

She wondered why, if Renjun was this special to him, why he let himself drown deeper in love when that love was so uncertain. Why he never tried to clear that doubt before he dove in even further. Why he never tried to stop the pain that it could cause in the distant future.

She never knew, but she trusted Renjun to hold Chenle's heart preciously and to cherish it in the best way he could, even if he didn't love her son the same.

She trusted Renjun to mend Chenle if he broke him, because he would break if he didn't have Renjun in the way he wanted — the way he needed to have him.

As she heard the faint echo of the door to Chenle's bedroom shutting, she sighed and sat down on an armchair. She'd trust Renjun, just the same as her son did, she knew him ever since he was little — knew how kind of a heart he had towards Chenle and Chenle only.

Anyway, ever since Chenle started SM high, he'd become even more reserved than he had been in all his time in Korea and he wouldn't tell her why, so she hoped that Renjun could help and support him in her stead. That he would be that shoulder for Chenle, the one that she just couldn't seem to be.

She wanted to be a good parent, wanted to show her son how much she loved and cared for him. And sometimes caring for someone was stepping down from their lives to let a better person walk in. She was ready to do that. She had already done that.

She had faith that Renjun would heal the wound in Chenle's heart.

And that was everything that the boy was planning to do.