Onika's Anatomy

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Onika POV

Days had turned into weeks—weeks had turned into months and Beyonce still remained in her vegetative state. Her birthday had come and gone, Papa's birthday had come and gone and mines as well. Christmas was only twenty-four hours away and I could tell the kids had no type of excitement. They were sad and I couldn't blame them, the holiday was just another reminder that she wasn't here.

I had taken a leave of absence to make myself available full time for the kids. It was already hard enough mothering papa and working fulltime. Now I was embodying mothering four kids in total and trust when me when I say, this shit was no walk in the park.

If Solange hadn't flown down periodically to help me out, I wouldn't have made it. I had gotten the kids enrolled in private schools. Papa, Sir and Rumi attended the same school—Blue on the other hand attended another middle school not too far from her brothers and sister. But it was hell getting them up and ready for school, dropping them off, and picking them up. Then having to make drop offs for the various activities like soccer, ballet, and track-specifically for Blue.

Solange thought it was a great idea for the kids to pick up extracurricular activities since they were going through a lot. We even had to get them grieve counseling at some point, because they were starting to show out in a bad way.

I had just gotten back at the house after making last minute preparations for Christmas. I was about to clean the mess I made in the kitchen during breakfast time. But then I decided to spend time with the person I thought about the most. When I entered the room a nurse smiled at me, giving me the same old update.

"She was stable throughout the night, no significant changes."

I nodded with a sigh making my way over to the bed, instead of pulling a chair up. I decided to climb in bed next to her. We made sure we got her a bigger hospital bed whereby the kids could sleep next to her if needed be.

I kicked my shoes off my shoes and got underneath the covers next to her. I was careful not to add to much pressure since she's had a few open surgeries back-to-back to correct the damages the bullets had done. Since the only best option was moving her across the country to L.A, we decided to bring the most renowned doctors from L.A to her. And we did this in the comfort of her home, where she'd be surrounded with love. Although those doctors looked at me like I was crazy, I could tell by their demeanors they had no hope for her—but I did.

These past six months I've advocated for her and fought anyone tooth and nail who dared to tell me pull the plug on her. Solange and I even got into it recently because she believed there was no hope for her sister. She was starting to become like everyone else around me—hopeless. But I knew this was going to happen, everyone was giving up on her, but I wasn't. Even the kids stopped coming to the guest headquarters to visit her. All of that shit was getting to me, and honestly, I was mentally about to break. I began crying against her chest—letting her know that she had me in her corner. Even if the world was against her—she had me.

"Rumi asked for pink Cadillac truck for Christmas—but she got in trouble in school on Monday for pulling a little girl's hair. So, I made her think she's not getting it, but Solo and I hid all their gifts in the guest house. We're going to set everything up under the tree after we put the kids to bed tonight."

I sighed. "I got you something too Bey—the new Louboutin's came out. I think you'll look great once you come back to us..." Tears ran down my face waiting for the untimely response I knew I was not going to get. "Bey, I miss you so much—the kids miss you... Everyone thinks I'm crazy for holding onto you for so long, but I have so much hope for you..."

I wiped away my tears laying my head back against her chest. The sound of her heartbeat always kept me going. I knew the rhythm of her heartbeat like I knew the lyrics to 'A milli' by Lil Wayne. Her heartbeat brought a different type of favor to my soul. I was so relaxed to the point I ended up taking a nap.