Onika's Anatomy

Torn

Beyoncé POV

I pushed my empty glass toward the bartender "Can I get another shot of bourbon please?"

Kelly blocked my hand. "No sir she'll take some water, thank you."

"Took you long enough." I said as Kelly took a seat next to me.

"Well I'm sorry it's 3am in the damn morning and you called me to vent."

"You weren't asleep cause you been sending me all those stupid videos on instagram."

"They're funny and besides you never reply to me. You be hurting my feelings. But it's good to see you, I feel like I haven't seen you in a year."

I took the water bottle from the waiter thanking him. "It's really been that long?"

Kelly nodded. "Pretty much, so wassup? Who got you stressing?"

I sighed. "Well Nicki and I had a really overwhelming session yesterday. I laid everything on the table it was so fucking intense.  I thought she was going to hit me with a vase. But we got through it and then I fucked up not too long ago."

"I guess that's semi-good. What happened?"

"Blue snuck out to some club and get this she somehow was with Ciara. I went to whoop her ass—"

Kelly cut me off. "As you should."

"Exactly, Tina would have probably buried me! But Nicki got between us before I could even land that belt on her ass. We got into a heated argument and I told her she had no business doing what she did, because at the end of the day Blue is still my child . And I feel like I have that authority to correct my child as I please. She acted as if I was going to kill her—"

"Well first of all you know I always tell you straight up. And I must say I'll give you wrong on that. Onika has literally been the glue holding those kids together. Legally they're just as much as her kids as they are yours. You allowed her to adopt them, so you have to give her a say when it comes to correcting the kids. Now what Blue did definitely deserved a nice southern ass whopping. But it's not just you anymore Bey, you have to be considerate of the other parents wishes as well. And who knows in that moment she probably felt triggered. Domestic PTSD is real, take from someone who experienced it."

"I know I fucked up, yet again I allowed my anger get the best of me... It's like I take two steps forward just to get knocked ten steps back. It's the way she looked at me after I said that... I just keep fucking up and I promise I'm trying not to."

"Bey... You're being hard on yourself. You can't be 100% perfect. And if she's expecting you to be that way it will never work. You've made some damn good progress and you should be proud of that. Not everyone can come back from the things you've been through. From this day forward you guys need to have a mutual agreement on correcting the kids. It's all about communication and respecting each other's morals."

I nodded taking a sip of water. "You right."

"I know... But what are you going to do about about Blue? More importantly Ciara?"

"I'll deal with Blue in due time...I can't even look at her right now. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, that whatever fast ass girls she's been hanging with probably pressured her. But Ciara—oh it's up. Julius is trying to find her as we speak."

Kelly sighed. "Bey don't kill the bitch. That's coming from someone who still wants a round two with that ass. At the end of the day she's still   Blue's biological mom."

"I understand that—but why now? She hasn't called nor checked on my child in three years. Haven't even wished my baby a happy birthday nothing! I can't shake the feeling that she's up to something."