POTS ~ The struggle of standing

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(It's been snowing the last couple of days, so thought I'd share a picture I took you all.)

Eliot's pov:

"Hello little hamster. How're you doing?"

Little hamster... oh Hazel. Thank you. Thank you for being there. Whatever would I do without you.

He took one quick breath in and exhaled slowly. Eliot looked up a little and closed his eyes. It was okay. It was going to be okay. He did not have to be anxious. His fears were for nothing. They were but an illusion of his imagination. "Hazel. I think... I need your help. I screwed up."

"What's wrong Eliot? Are you okay?" They sounded serious, yet fearful. He took himself in asking if she was the one that was not. Yet his mouth stayed shut. "Do you want me to come ever. I don't really feel like talking to each other over the phone is enough."

Eliot nodded. Hazel couldn't see that, but it was just what he always did. "Yes, please. Do come over."

"M-key. I can be there in 20. Do you wanna keep talking to me on the way, or are you..." They took a deep breath in and out again. "Can you be alone right now Eliot? Be honest." She sounded commandingly blunt. This was the real Hazel. And he was glad it was. He was glad she was here. Well, would be soon.

"I would like not to be alone. If that's okay with you, Hazel."

"Of course it is! I'll put you here for now tho. Need to get a couple of things with me, and then I'll leave."

They talked all the time it took for Hazel to get to Eliot's home. And by talked, he meant mostly listening to Hazel talk to him. To him, it was a comfort, nonetheless. Just the presence of someone, not even a physical presence, was enough. For now.

They sat in the room that was Eliot's with a bag of chips open. Water stood on the window still, beside the potted plant. They had put friends on, on Eliot's computer and were commenting on the show. (Why did I add this? You might ask. Well, I started watching friends, like for real, that's why.) Eliot looked at his plant. It was doing well now.

"I just want to be seen as equal to everyone else. Is that too much to ask?" He finally took the courage and looked at them.

"The world was never meant to be a fair place, Elliot." Well, he knew that. But why did Hazel have to be so honest about it?.Hazel continued. "But that does not mean you can't be happy. Happiness comes from excepting the past. Not dreading it."

(Hey slumps! (I mean this in the most positive way. I'm not sure if there is any, but still. Take it as a compliment!)
So, I'm going the Tourette's clinic in a couple of days, after having gottin the appointment only half a year earlier, to hopefully figure out my tics and what I have. It feels like i have been waiting forever. Considering the waits for psychiatrists and mental health issues, it's only like half the wait. We need to do something about this. This is a issue.
I was there today. And the doctor I talked to was awesome. He told me at the end that I have functional tics. So, there's that. I feel like I should be more happy, but idk. I have to learn not to have them anymore, but idk, it feels kind of wrong to just suppress them. It's gotten a lot better now, even though it's just been a few weeks. But there's hope. And that's all there need to be.

So yeah, hope you're doing well, and however long you have to wait for a much needed appointment, I've got your back. It's okay, not to be okay. Look at some Winnie the Pooh quotes. Time will be sure to pass.
Until next time, my little weirdos<3
Remember that I love you. No mater what.)

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