Good Cop Gone Bad ~ Rewritten

20| couple

•Matteo Rossi•
(with a little bit of mature content. NOT all the way, just a tiny bit)

          It took me a while to register what Aria had said to me, 'like when Laura was growing up and I would always take care of her. No one else would want to take care of us so I did it for her'. When I did come to terms with it, I couldn't get it out of my head. What did she mean no one would want to take care of them? What about their mother? I just met her yesterday and she seemed genuinely concerned at Aria's illness.
          And what about their father? Aria has never mentioned him. To be fair, before yesterday, we had spoken maybe 4-5 times and she had not mentioned either of her parents. As of now, it feels weird asking and even if I did, I don't want to pry and force her to tell me anything.
         I'm not just scared about how I will treat her, I am also scared of how she will treat me. I know she said she wants someone who is sweet, caring, and genuinely loves her, and I know I care for her, but I don't know if I can love her. I have only ever pursued someone romantically one time and she cheated on me. And we were not far enough into knowing each other for me to love her. But ever since then, a question which has constantly been in my mind is if I am even capable of loving. I have never let myself get close to anyone or had the opportunity to, but now I do and I do not even know if I can.
         She also told me that she is 'too broken' for the future she wanted, as well as saying that she thought we were moving too fast. I do not particularly agree with that, but if she wants to go slow then we will. But as for being 'too broken', what did she mean by that? How many boyfriends has she had in the past? And how had she been treated by them? Or how had she been towards them? I was going to figure it all out one day, but for now I just wanted to experience this feeling that Alessandro described as having a crush. That is such a stupid name for it.
As for my track record, I know she deserves better than someone who doesn't know how to love. But if she wants better, then I will become better. I will become her idea of perfection even if everyone else thinks I am the farthest thing from it. For her. It's not like people think I am anything close to perfect even now.
         Before now, I have always thought of feelings to be useless but now I see why they hold so much power. More than what I have.
People fear me because they know I hold power. As of now, everyone just knows me as the CEO and company owner of La Società Rossi. Even Interpol knows me as that, they have no clue who I actually am. My file is completely different from the mafia file. Everyone thinks I am the nice guy who gives and gives to everyone, but they also know I can take anything I want, and demolish their lives within an instant. That is why I am feared. Which is why it is so weird to me that Aria never seemed that way towards me. I assume she knows who I falsely am and the power I hold but her behavior so far has shown the opposite. That I am just some random guy with money.
I like that though. She doesn't know the reputation I hold, she can get to know me with no one else's judgment. She can form her own opinions and I can be myself without having to talk about business. But I have to be careful around her and not let anything slip about the true nature of my business.
I do not like that I am withholding the truth, but it is a lie for the better. So that we can live peacefully without any of that getting in the way.
At least that is what I am telling myself.
Her cat is laying down next to her sleeping, but it wakes up and crawls over to me, using my wrist as a pillow. From the same hand that is still holding Aria's.
I heard the door open so I looked up and I saw mamma walking in with a basket. "Where is she?" she asks as she looks around the room, analyzing the situation. "Is that her?"
"Yes, mamma but she is asleep. How did you know we were here?" I ask.
She sighs. "Well I came to visit you and I was told there was someone in your office, so I went up there and only found Alessandro. He told me you were here with your girlfriend because she is sick, so I thought I would bring something over." she explains, making me sigh. Alessandro needs to learn to keep his fucking mouth shut.
"She just feel asleep not long ago because Dr. Moretti gave her more medicine. Can you come back later?" I ask and she nods, smiling at me.
"Of course." she leaves the basket and begins to walk out. "She is beautiful, figlio." she says before walking out and closing the door.
I look back over to Aria, seeing her sleeping so peacefully. "I know." I mumble to myself, admiring her.
         She is so beautiful.