•Aria Marino•
Going home after the hospital felt weird that day. I knew I needed a change in my life and maybe that change was Matteo, but I was intimidated. The entirety of my life, I have been forced to believe that people that treat me like shit loved me. Because the people that told me that they loved me were the same ones that treated me like shit. So when I have this person who is treating me well, it feels so foreign to me, it almost feels fake.
It was not even just that. It is an entire group of people, a family, who loved each other. They cared about each other. They did not sit there and judge me over my career choices, what I had done or eaten that day, the way that I looked. Maybe they had been judging me, since I did show up in pajama-like clothes, but at least they analyzed the situation and decided that it was better to not say or do anything.
It was a family that was kind to me, a mother and father that loved each other, worshiped each other, did not betray each other, gave me advice and listened to me, did not berate me. Siblings that had a similar relationship to mine and Laura's. Not one of them was rude to the other, unless they had all been joking with each other. It was unfamiliar to me the way this family worked, because they were so close to each other. There were no lies between them, just love, and they actually accepted me as one of their own simply because I am with Matteo.
I feel like I know him less and less because of this, since we clearly had two extremely different upbringings.
I trust him, but I don't trust myself enough to know for a fact that I actually do trust him or if I am just blinded by the fact that I have feelings for him. After everything that has happened, I see that love exists but I do not know if I believe in it for myself.
Everything I have done so far has been to protect myself, although I have already given my body to him. For myself, I feel that it is easier to trust someone with my body than with my mind. My body has already been disrespected in ways that cannot be taken back, so as long as I protect my mind and keep it to myself, not letting anyone in, then I will be fine.
Although now, it is getting to the part of my relationship with Matteo that emotions and trust are a very big part and I do not know if I will be able to handle it. I know what papà said, and I know I should open up, but I have always had the lingering thought in the back of my mind. What if he betrays me in a way that I have not been betrayed before?
I bit my bottom lip and tapped my pen as these thoughts kept reeling me in. I was at work, and I still could not seem to focus. My undercover mission is tonight, and I know I am fully ready, but if I was too distracted then I do not want to mess anything up.
"Aria?" Annachiara's voice pulls me away and I turn to her. "You should go home and get something to eat, maybe take a break before you go undercover?" she suggests and I nod, not fully giving her my attention, but knowing what she said. "Are you listening?" she asks and I nod again.
"Uh yes. I will go right now." I mumble and pick up the papers on my desk, stacking them into a neat pile and putting them in my bag. I weakly smile at her before walking out of the office and towards the elevator that connects all of the different departments on this floor.
Getting in my car, I realize I have three hours before I have to be ready and at the restaurant where this fake undercover date will be taking place. We have been trying to catch a killer that supposedly meets women through a dating site, takes them out, and then kidnaps them. He holds them for about a week before killing them, and now we think we found him, so they decided to use me as the bait. I was not completely happy about it, as it was Flora's suggestion and not mine, but work is work so I have to do it.
I get back to my empty apartment as Laura is at work, and she will not be back until after I am gone. As I am eating some leftover pasta, I get a call from Matteo, so I put the food away, and head towards my room to begin getting ready. "Hello?" I answer the call.
"Hi, melodia. Are you still at work?" he asks me.
"No, I left a little bit ago but I am going to have to go back in about two and a half hours." I explain to him.
"Why will you have to go back?"
"I have my undercover assignment today. I have to go on this fake date with a guy that might be a killer so we can catch him." I explain, and I could hear him groan. Maybe the way that I just said that so causally was not the best thing.
"I hate that you have to do that." he groans. I do not know if it is the possessive thing or the protective thing, or a combination of both, but it is just my job. "Be very safe, please, melodia."
I sighed before responding. "Matteo I have been trained for this. There will be people around me, I am going to have a mic on me, my team will be waiting for me. I will be okay, I promise."
"Okay, if you say so." he says, but he still sounded upset. We switch the topic and talk for another while before he says he has a meeting and we say goodbye, but not before he tells me to call him when I get off of work.
I was suddenly very tired, not necessarily in a way that made me want to go to sleep, if anything, I had gotten an excessive amount of sleep yesterday when I was with Matteo. My body was just exhausted. It wanted to give out, just fall on the floor or the bed and lay there, not wanting to do anything else.
I wanted to throw myself on my bed and just start sobbing. Uncontrollably with no one to bother me. Now was the perfect time. I still had some time to kill before I had to be there, my sister isn't home to coddle me, Matteo is in a meeting and probably is not even thinking about me, I do not even talk to my father or brother, and I have not heard from my mother since she left Italy. I was alone.
I was already dressed, so all I would have to do now is my makeup, the way that Annachiara instructed me to do it.
I climbed into bed, letting the mattress and blankets covering it consume me. I grabbed my teddy bear from across the bed and held it in my arms, letting tears spill from my eyes. I don't know why I'm crying, I just know that I am.
I have thought about this for years, finding comfort in the pain. Comfort in something that I am so used to because I have never known anything else. Maybe that is why I would rather be heartbroken than actually find someone to love. Why I would rather have this dangerous job that I hate rather than a safer one that I love. It would be an easier way out.
When I am heartbroken, all I can think of is that at least it is over, and I do not have to go through the trouble of finding someone again, and getting hurt again. But it all happens repeatedly, it is the same cycle over and over again. Not that it happens much since I try to avoid it the best I can.
This time though, I let it happen to myself again. It was almost inevitable. As much as I found Matteo so arrogant and just sort of predictable in the beginning, he had proved me wrong easily, and I had let myself fall for him. It still is not too late, I still have a way out, a very easy way out. As much as I wanted to avoid it all, there was a small part of me that knew that I shouldn't. I'm a grown fucking woman and as much as I don't want to get hurt I know I can handle it even if I do. It is not like it has not happened before.
After a while, the tears stop flowing, and I sit back up. I easily wipe them all off of my face and go to the restroom to wash it. I looked like I had been crying. I fix the way I look and then quickly go to do my makeup.
Once I am done with that, I make my way to my car and to the restaurant. I go to the back of it where my team was waiting for me, already set up. Annachiara automatically takes me and begins to set up my mic. "We will be listening the entire time, and we will be ready to go in when you need us. There are already four other agents in there for backup. Now, he will be here in ten minutes according to the messages. Remember, he thinks your name is Evelyn, please do not slip up." I nod understandingly at her words. Another agent comes up to her and whispers something in her ear. "He is waiting for you at the front of the restaurant." she says and I nod once again, heading for the entrance.
When I get there I see him waiting for me. He is a few inches taller than me, maybe 5'7" with blonde hair and an all black outfit. "Evelyn." he calls out for my fake name and I smile at him softly, walking up closer.
"Jacob, sì?" I ask him and he nods, taking my hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. It takes all my strength to not gag, roll my eyes at him, and smack the absolute crap out of him but I somehow manage.
We enter the restaurant and we are automatically seated at a booth. I notice the warning signs right away. He sat with his back to the wall, making sure he had a view of the entire restaurant. He was incredibly rude to all of the male waiters and flirted with all of the female waitresses. I would absolutely vomit if this was a real date and not something I had to do, because this guy was quite literally a piece of work. He spoke about himself the entire time, and his high paying corporate job, however a previous view at his file had told me he worked as an assistant manager for some local business. Not as high paying as he says and not a corporate job.
When it got to the part where I had to ask about his hobbies or his activities out of work to see if I could get anything out of him, he was acting very gross. "Piccola, let's just say I prefer to keep to myself. My hobbies are nobodies business." he says aggressively.
"Oh come on. We are getting to know each other. That means answering questions like these. To better understand each other." I say, falsely pleading him. A look of anger takes over his face and he almost reaches out to hurt me. I flinch back but smack his hand away, which made me annoyed at myself for doing that. He chuckles at my reaction.
"You're a little feisty one, piccola." he smirks disgustingly, but his expression quickly changing to one of disgust as he stood up and made his way over to my side of the table. I looked around the restaurant quickly to see if I could spot the other agents and I did but also spotted someone else. Matteo is here for a business dinner. Today of all days and out of all the restaurants in Italy. I wanted to scream internally but had no time as I stood up due to Jacob quickly approaching me. "Or should I say Agent Marino?" my eyes widened at the realization of what he said as he quickly spun me around, an arm wrapping around my throat, and his hand going to a gun in his pants, quickly pointing it to my head.
For the first time in all of the years I have ever been an agent, I had a hope in the back of my mind that he wouldn't hurt me. Hoping that he wouldn't shoot me. I was breathing heavy and I could feel my heart thumping against my chest. God, I am so scared. But there are other people here, Matteo is here looking like if he could do something about this right now he would.
The other agents in the restaurant had their guns pointed at us as he laughed devilishly. My body slumps down in defeat. More agents swarmed the restaurant including Annachiara, Ermes, and Flora. I don't know why she came in here when she would probably let me die. "You are not getting out of this, Jacob. If you hurt her, your sentence will be way worse than you think it will be. Let her go and it will all be over sooner. The best deal you can take is to just let her go now." Annachiara said.
I was struggling to breathe as he had a very tight grip on my throat. I was squirming trying to get out of his arm, trying to breathe and at some point, his balance was off, making him stumble back, his back hitting the table behind us. He almost fell back and I took the opportunity that I saw. His arm with the gun flailed around, so in a few quick motions, I grabbed his arm and straightened it. With my other hand, I went under his elbow and pushed it up quick and hard, until something in his arm snapped. His arm left my throat and he dropped the gun as he screamed in pain. The gun went off when it hit the floor and he screamed once again. I looked down and saw blood spilling out of his leg, making a puddle on the floor. I ran from where his body was collapsing on the floor and Ermes took me away from it. "Are you okay?" he asked me and I nodded, not giving him my full attention as my eyes scanned the group of people that had not ran out of the restaurant earlier.
There was a bunch of commotion coming from the other agents as two ambulances arrived. One was for me, but I did not care. I found Matteo and I ran to him. He caught me in his arms and hugged me, lifting me off the floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He shouldn't have been here at all but now I am glad he was. He groaned. "Melodia." he said and I hummed. "Are you okay?" I nodded as we both let go and he cupped my face in his hands, looking around my body for any sign of injury.
"Aria." I heard Annachiara call my name. "They have to check you." she said, having Ermes climb into the ambulance with Jacob while she gestured me to the other one. I nodded and Matteo went with me to the ambulance after he spoke to his business associates and asked to finish the meeting another time, which they understood. It was a woman checking me, and she was very kind. She checked the side of my head to see if the gun had scratched or cut me. She checked my throat and neck area for bruising which apparently there was a bit but other than that, I was fine.
She cleared me to go so I went with Annachiara, but I asked Matteo to wait for me in his car so we could talk and then I would go home in my car. "How did he know who I am?" I asked curiously.
"They just went through his bank statements. He paid for some website to run a check on the picture that we used for the dating site. I guess he found your real identity with it. He also found these articles that were printed about you and your boyfriend." she said, almost laughing as she pulled her phone out and showed me. There were articles posted online about Matteo's dating life since he was some famous businessman. And the most recent ones have pictures of him and I on our date, claiming that he was finally settling down.
My eyes widened as I clicked on the article and saw just how many pictures had been taken. There were some of us entering the restaurant, some of us walking around the shopping center, eating gelato, even a picture of us kissing. I did not feel embarrassed but weirded out. I get that he is somewhat known or whatever but how in the hell did they get this information about me? And how did we not notice that there were people taking pictures of us?
"I am so sorry. I did not know these articles existed." I tell Annachiara and she chuckles.
"It is okay. We did not know either. We just have to be more careful with these things, and we cannot send you out on undercover assignments anymore." she says and I nod understandingly and gratefully. I did not particularly like it. "But anyways, you had a gun in the purse that we gave you, why didn't you have it ready to go?" she asks me.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "I did not have a gun in the purse." I tell her and pick it up off of the table I had placed it on, showing her the contents of it. Now her eyebrows furrow.
"I put it in there myself." she says. I see Flora next to her has a weird look on her face.
She begins to speak hesitantly, "I- I took it out of the purse before she went in." she admits, making Annachiara's face change to one of annoyance instead of confusion.
"Aria go home." she tells me and I nod, even more confused now. "Flora stay here, I am going to need to talk to you." she says aggressively as I begin to walk away and towards Matteo's car.
He gets out and begins walking towards me, meeting me in the middle. "What happened?" he asks me.
"The guy, he found out who I was before he even came here and I guess he just decided to risk it. And I guess I was supposed to have a gun in my purse but one of my coworkers took it out before I went in. I don't know what is going on, I am just tired and I want to go home." I said, wrapping my arms around his torso and hugging him tightly. He chuckles and wraps his arms around me, hugging me in the same way.
"Come on, melodia. I'll take you to your car. And I'll go to your apartment and pick up food on the way there, sì?" he mumbles against my hair before placing a kiss there. I nod against him tiredly and he turns my body, placing a hand on my lower back leading me to my car. He opens my door and I pause to look up at him. I kiss him before he asks, "What do you want for dinner?"
"Chinese food, please?" I ask and he nods, smiling, leaning down to press another kiss on my lips.
"I'll see you in a little while." he says. I get in the car and he closes the door for me before going to his car and getting in.
I make my way back to my apartment, and when I get to the door, I find an envelope waiting for me on the floor. Living here, I had quickly learned that it was not unusual. People constantly lose their keys to the mailboxes so the building managers usually bring up the mail to the apartments. I picked up the envelope and went inside, opening it with my keys. I pull out a piece of paper which was small, not folded up at all. However, it was completely full of words. And it started in the worst way possible.
You're such a home wrecking slut.
I was so fucking confused. I read the rest of the letter and it was clearly addressed to me. It had my full name on the front of it. Throughout the letter, I was told that I was worthless, a slut, that I didn't deserve happiness, and to go kill myself. That one was multiple times. I mean seriously if I wanted to hear all of this I would have just called my mom, there was no need to mail a letter. I'm not exactly taking it seriously because I find it kind of funny, but at the same time, who the fuck is this and what the hell are they talking about.
I am too tired to deal with it right now, so I just left the letter on the counter.
I go to the bathroom and quickly wash my face, then to my room to change into some pajamas, also wearing the slippers Matteo bought me on our date. I checked in on Laura, but she was already asleep, and I am doubtful that we can wake her up. Not only are the walls thick, and unusually hard to hear through, but she is the deepest sleeper I have ever met. I couldn't wake her up if I was screaming and getting murdered.
A small while later, there's a knock on the door, assuming it is Matteo, I go to answer it to find him carrying food. I smile at him, attempting to take the bags from him to help him but he refuses. "I've got it." he assures me and I smile at him as he walks in and places the food on the counter. "Where is your sister?" he asks me.
"She is asleep already." I reply and he nods, beginning to set out the food for us.
I help him bring the food to the couch so we can watch a movie while eating dinner. We sit there, barely paying attention to the movie, talking and laughing while eating together. This is why there is something telling me that I should not give up just because he might hurt me. Might. Being with him is nothing like anyone I have been with before. I'm calm, I'm safe, I feel comfortable, I feel happy. It's so enjoyable. I like him being here.
We finished eating but stayed on the couch and kept talking, almost unable to stop, not wanting to, with each other. We were both yawning, getting tired, and I was craving something sweet. "I am going to order some dessert. Do you want anything? I will pay for it." I tell him and he shakes his head.
"No, melodia. You spend your time on me. I will spend the money. Your presence itself is a gift to me." he says, making me blush but I quickly cover it up by looking away.
"Okay." I say and lean forward to kiss him. When I let go, I want to ask him if he wanted to stay overnight but I get nervous. I don't like getting nervous. Because as bad as it sounds, I have basically never spent the night with a guy that I didn't have sex with. The first one took my virginity, and then a week later pretty much traumatized me. The second one was literally just a goodbye before I left the country and the third is Matteo. We spent the night in the hospital together but I don't know if that counts since it was separate beds until like two in the morning and also, you know, obligated in a hospital. And even then, that hospital room bathroom has seen some shit. "Do you.." I start but trail off and look away, regretting that I said anything.
"Do I what?" he asks and I shake my head.
"Nothing, it was a stupid question." I say, curling into the couch even more, crossing my arms against my chest. I suddenly feel very uncomfortable and very shy. I do not like feeling either of those.
He sighs, "Nothing you say could be stupid." he says, extending his arms out so I can hug him. I hesitantly lean sideways and he wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. "What is wrong?"
"Nothing. I was just going to ask if you wanted to stay over tonight. But it felt stupid. I shouldn't have said it." I mumbled, my head resting on his shoulder as he pulled me in closer.
"It is not stupid, melodia. And I would
love to stay the night. You just have to let me sleep in my underwear because I have no other clothes." He says in a tone that sounds as if it was intended to make me feel a little better about everything. I chuckle and I nod.
"That is okay. Just no... touching." I say slowly, almost not wanting to say it. I meant what I said but it felt weird saying it. My tone was suggestive and I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.
He looks down at me so I tilt my head up to look at him. I have this bad feeling that he's going to tell me that he doesn't want to stay over anymore. "We are not doing anything you do not want to do, okay? If you want me to cook for you then I will cook for you. If you want me to touch you, then I will touch you. But the second you tell me to stop or to leave, I will. I never want to make you uncomfortable or anything of the sort. Understand?" he asks, clarifying my misunderstandings and I nod softly, placing my head back on his shoulder.
He orders me some dessert and we pick a second movie to watch. Just as dessert arrives, he gets up to get the door, taking the food containers with him. He opens the door and takes the food to place it on the counter. I am not watching what he is doing but I can hear it all behind me.
I get up to help him with everything and as I turn, I see him looking at the letter I had left on the counter before, with the insults and the threats. "Oh. That is just..." I begin but trail off before he begins speaking.
"Melodia, what the fuck is this?" He asks, his eyes wide while scanning over the piece of paper I now regretted ignoring and leaving out on the counter. The only thing I could come up with was that I had written it and left it there. But that would paint me as a horrible person, also the ripped envelope was sitting right under it so it would not be that believable.
I sigh, "Just a letter that I received today. It's probably nothing though, just leave it." I say dismissively. I know it is something but he should not have to worry about it and I do not want him to.
"It is not just a letter. Who would ever say that to you? Also, what is a home wrecker?" he asks. And that makes me think of something. If I am being a home wrecker, then does that mean he is cheating to be with me? If he is I will break it off with him. Or has he been married before? He is only about two or three years older but he could have gotten married young.
"Okay, better question. Have you ever been married? Or were you in a relationship when we met?" I ask accusingly. I can see the shock in his face but I have been around enough people to know that people can easily fake it.
He is taken aback. "No. What? Melodia, I told you that I have not been in a relationship before like this one. I have never been married before. I had a small relationship as a teenager and... well she cheated on me. But since then I have not been close with anyone! And even then we were not close I mean we would barely talk!" he exclaims, sounding freaked. He is not lying. He is proclaiming his innocence, he is being open, telling me at least something that he has been through before to show his feelings.
"A home wrecker is a person who destroys a relationship for the benefit of themselves. Usually because they want to date one of the people involved in the relationship." I explain and his face changes from one of confusion. "And I'm not seeing anyone but you, so if you are not in another relationship or have not been previously in one, then I do not know what that letter is even talking about!" I exclaim. I hate this feeling. Not knowing what is happening or why it is happening. Who the hell sent this letter and why they sent it to me. I checked the name multiple times, it even had my middle name on it.
He came over to me as I sighed trying to calm myself. "Hey," He said as he approached me, tilting my head up by putting his finger under my chin. "I know you're stressed, sweetheart, but please, talk to me. I don't even want for you to receive letters like that, or be stressed like that at all. Talk to me, let me know what is wrong and I will listen. I will help if you need it. But I need you to stay as calm as you can. Now, I have to ask even though it may sound obvious, you have absolutely no clue where that letter came from?" he says, comforting me once again. God this man is amazing. And he is that, a man. He can take charge, take care of me, process my emotion without getting upset but if anything calming me. I just hope I can do the same for him.
I shake my head and lean forward, allowing his body to embrace mine, wrapping my arms around his torso. He holds me to him as I let out a shaky breath. I was not going to let the tears spill, not in front of Matteo and not right now. And then I thought about it, he would be staying here. At night, when I usually cry. I could just say it was a nightmare which it usually is anyways. But right now, I had no excuse for my meltdown.
He stroked my hair as I tried to calm my breathing, and he could tell what I was doing. "Melodia, if you need to cry, then cry. Don't hold it back." he says softly, his normally beep voice sounding sincere and calming.
"No I should not cry. It is stupid I am probably just being sensitive." I say and pull back from him, trying to go get the letter. He grabs me and pulls me back before I can even get away. He sits down on the couch with his legs spread wide and pulls me down with him, sitting me on his right thigh, placing a hand on my lower back. "Am I hurting you?" I asked, referring to his leg that I was sitting on.
He shakes his head and says, "You weigh basically nothing, melodia."
I roll my eyes because I know that I probably at least feel a little heavy to him. "I have gained weight since I met you and it is annoying."
This time, he is the one rolling his eyes as he picks me up by putting his hands under my arms and simply lifting me up. I gasp as my feet no longer touch the ground and he takes me to a wall, pinning me onto it, lifting me so I am even above his height. I quickly get distracted by the different perspective from up here. And I can see the top of his head so I start playing with his hair. It's so soft.
"Stop changing the subject," he accuses and I scoff, but he continues talking. "You are not being sensitive. You were held at gun point today. And then you get home to this stupid letter that is telling you to harm yourself? Of course you are going to be stressed and upset, sweetheart."
"It's not like it is the first time I have been held at gun point. It happens in this job a lot I should be used to it by now." I say defensively and start swinging my feet forward and back until they hit the wall. I never knew how much I appreciated being able to touch the ground.
He sighs, "No matter how many times it happens, it is still a traumatic experience, and you should not just ignore it. It is okay to be upset. Now we are going to get your dessert when it gets here, and then we are going to go to sleep because you need to rest. And you are going to cry if you feel like it." he says and places a kiss to my cheek as he lets me off the wall.
I sigh as my feet touch the ground. "I kind of liked it up there." I say as I begin to walk away but he grabs me again, lifting me up. He lets me wrap my legs around his waist as his arms go around mine to keep me in the air. My arms wrap around his neck and I rest my head on his shoulder. "I really like it up here."
He chuckled and before I knew it, I was finishing dessert and being taken to my bed, falling asleep in his arms on my bed, as comfortable as I could be.
•••••
long ass chapter but i just can't stfu apparently
anyways, it was cutesie i hope you liked it 🫶
~elle 🌸
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Good Cop Gone Bad ~ Rewritten
RomanceAn FBI agent who gets an opportunity to move to Italy to be an agent there. Of course she takes it right away. The job she loves in the country she loves most in the world. The place that she loves. The place that she considers home. With her loving...
