Good Cop Gone Bad ~ Rewritten

45| breaking

•Aria Marino•

Matteo has been acting so weird since he got home. I am just eating with him and then I have to leave to my apartment. My dad realized he could come for his thanksgiving vacations since he works at a private school, they have two weeks off so he got a flight and he is going to be staying with me at my apartment so I am going to pick him up from the airport.
Thanksgiving is not celebrated here in Italy but he took the opportunity to come visit us.
          "Hey do you want to talk now or do you want to wait until tomorrow? I have to go pick my dad up from the airport." I reminded him. He looked hesitant to speak, it looked like he almost physically could not say anything. He was sitting on a chair at the kitchen table but I was standing with my back to the table.
         He looked maybe even nauseous, "Uhm I think now," he said quietly. "I need to tell you something."
          "What is it?" I asked him, "Why do you look so nervous?" I wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me.
           He was shaking, "No I can't-" he mumbles, pushing me away. I wanted to cry. He has never pushed me away like that.
           "Lovey, what's wrong?" I ask him, caressing his cheek with my thumb. He grabbed my hand and kissed the palm softly.
           "I am part of an organization that I know  you don't exactly agree with. And I have been waiting to tell you because I didn't know how you were going to react and I am sorry I have not told you yet." he says slowly and calmly, making my eyebrows furrow and I lean on the table behind me, backing away from him.
          I chuckle, "What are you a communist or something?" I joke, laughing through my words.
          He manages to smile, but it faded in less than five seconds. "No, sweetheart, I am not," he begins. "Melodia, what is Italy notorious for?" he asks.
          I think about it for a second, "The culture, the beaches, the food-" I say with a smile but he stops me with a hand raised in the air.
          "No, melodia. What do people fear when they come to Italy?" he asks, his eyes darkening and his fists clenching on his lap.
         My browns furrow and I look at him confused but he refuses to look at me. "The mafia?" I ask him. What does the mafia have anything to do with this? But as he nods, I want to shatter onto the ground and sob until I couldn't anymore. "What are you saying?" I ask him.
         "I am the Don of the Italian Mafia. La Società Rossi is just the legitimate coverup." He finally says.
           I feel my breath stop in my throat, not being able to escape. I can't remember if I was breathing in or out. "No you're not," I say, in denial, shaking my head.
           "Melodia," he starts but I stop him.
          "No, don't call me that," I say harshly. The reality of the situation slapped me in the face all at once and I didn't know how to react. "You lied to me! For six months you lied to me about who you were! You risked everything off of the hope I would fall in love with you. Did you know I was an Interpol agent when we met? Is that why you wanted to get with me?" I ask him, my voice coming out loud and harsh, my brain so messed up that I didn't know what I was accusing.
         "No, sweetheart, it wasn't until after I had fallen for you that I found out. I promise, I didn't do it on purpose." he pleads, his voice is desperate and his eyes are red, full with tears.
           I had been an idiot to not notice it before. The protectiveness, the guards, the money, the power, the connections, everything. I had been so blinded by trust and love that I decided to look past it.
        It had all clicked now. The secrets about work, never telling me any details about his day, only ever taking me around certain people he was friends with.
        "Don't call me sweetheart! You risked everything. Everything I have worked for in the last ten years! Do you know what would have happened if anyone found out? I would be done for. I would lose everything I have worked so hard to prove. Do you know what my mother would do to me? Not only that, everything I try to prevent in this world, the things you guys do! Murder, drug trade, weapons, that's all my job is!" My voice is loud, no stuttering or hesitation heard at all. There is no mistake in anything I say.
           He tries to grab me but I don't let him, backing up away from him. "Please listen to me, please Aria," he pleads. As much as I can't handle hearing him calling me any nicknames, hearing him say my real name hurt even more. He rarely ever said it. "I love you more than anything, and I really didn't intend on keeping it a secret for this long, but I didn't want to disappoint you. I know you want to make your mom happy, but melodia, does your job make you happy? If your job makes you happy, then I understand, but if it doesn't then would you want to give up on us for something that makes you miserable?" he asks me. I stare at him for a few seconds, my eyes flooded with tears and my teeth having enough grip on my lips to make them bleed.
I do want to make my mom happy, no matter how miserable she or my job makes me, I have always believed that making her happy was all I needed to do in order to be happy. But these last few months, I have realized so much, and I have been so happy. Happier than ever.
Would I really want to give up the man who I believe is the love of my life for something that gave me nothing but the wish of death?
No, I wouldn't. But he still lied to me. For six months. He had every and any opportunity to tell me at a time where it would hurt less and he didn't.
I need a break.
I look at him, his face is covered in tears, his eyes redder than I have ever seen them. "Please, mel- Aria," he corrects himself halfway through and the emotional impact of it makes a sob erupt from my throat, tears leaving my eyes. "Stay, please." he begs, lowering out of his chair to his knees in front of me. "Please, Aria. I know I messed up by not telling you, I know that, but I cannot imagine my life without you. I cannot imagine anyone better than you to spend the rest of it with. I want to spend it making you happy beyond belief." he pleads. His arms wrap around my middle and he presses himself to me all the way.
I sobbed, my hands staying at my side. I couldn't handle it. "I'm leaving. Don't come after me." I sobbed, ripping myself away from his arms. He got up, trying to grab me again but I pushed him away. "I need to go. I'll send Laura to get my things." I said, wiping my face and walking out, knowing I will be late to pick up my dad.