fade into you |jordan li|

one. revenge

   She wanted this. It was only her second night in her dorm and she was already fucking the person she hated most, or really the second person she hated most.

  Jordan Li quickly took reign as Ari Anderson's number one enemy, and closely behind them was her childhood bully, Jayden Moore, but she wasn't who she used to be. She wasn't that scare defenseless girl that would let people walk all over her. 

  Things finally changed and now she was a normal, horny adult starting her freshman year of college after taking a little gap year due to some personal matters. 

  She sunk her nails into Jayden's back releasing years of pent up anger, but on the other hand, lust and sexual tension. It felt like she somehow won, like she had gotten the last laugh.

Or really the last fuck you...Even if she would feel awful after and would picture Jordan every single time. 

Sex was just her way of releasing anger, and it turned out to be a bad coping skill. Especially when her number one enemy was the only person she could think of to get her off.

   After, when they both finished she quickly put some clothes on, grabbed whatever she could from her closet, and felt a lingering type of regret like she knew she would.

   She felt gross, like she did something wrong even though she enjoyed herself.

   "My roommates close, you should go." She muttered, not trying to throw him out, but she could not let her brand new roommate find out she had a boy over already.

    "You can't convince her to stay out a little longer?" He spoke in a soft tone, he didn't want to have to go back to his dorm so quick, but that's exactly what she wanted. 

   "Jay I can't get on her bad side, it's literally my second night and we still barely know each other." She made an excuse, though it wasn't the whole truth. She did want to make a good impression, but she really just wanted him to leave until she figured out how she felt about everything.

   "Fine, see you tomorrow night? My room?" He looked eager. He just wanted to get in her pants, just like he wanted to get into every other girl's pants.

    "Maybe, just not too late. Classes start in two days and I want to make sure I make good impressions this week, so no baggy eyes." She forced a smile.

She knew the answer would be no until she could wrap her head around it, but she wanted him to think she would. Just to keep her options open. 

    "Got it." He grabbed his coat from the floor, opened the door and stepped out leaving Ari in silence.

   She was used to it. The Silence. The Loneliness. The feeling of punching the wall as hard as she could hoping she would feel something in her bleeding hands.

   Her father always said "Andersons are strong, we're not weak." But she always felt so weak and helpless. especially in the midst of quietness. She always became so self-destructive.

  She claimed that she was no Polarity, no Andre, and she definitely wasn't like her dead mother, gone way too soon.

   But it always came back to her, just like it did to them.

   Dread. Regret. Grief. And then the worst part. That same silence.

    She dreaded intro to crime fighting. She wanted to be an actor. She used to stand in front of her mirror practicing random lines, to build her skills, but her dream was all over just because of some legacy, and natural intuition.

    She really regretted sleeping with Jayden Moore now that it was over and done with, now that it was quiet, but she was going to do it again. That's what she always did. She did things she would always regret.