BEAUTY IN THE BEAST

Recurring Pain

Ch 139: Recurring Pain

Ace

Darkness.

That's all I've known for what feels like forever. There's no sense of time, no sense of place—just endless black, cold and suffocating. I can't move, can't feel. Am I dead?

Flashes of memory pierce the void. Our wedding night—Katherine in white, her smile like fire in the dark. God, she was beautiful. That night, I held her as if the world could crumble around us and I wouldn't care. But the memory doesn't stay soft for long.

It shifts—Katherine, lying on the road, covered in blood. Her breath shallow. Her body broken. I'm holding her, and there's nothing I can do but drive. My hands are shaking on the steering wheel, her blood staining my skin. I'm screaming, but no sound comes out. This scene keeps repeating itself, over and over, a cruel cycle that won't let me go. It's madness, pure and complete madness.

The voices—loud and shrill, echoing in my ears. Are they real? Or just the torment in my head? I can't tell anymore.

I'm slipping. I can feel it. My body, my mind, my will—it's all fading. Her face... her face is fading into the blackness, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. 'Am I dying?'

Then, there's a shift—something sharp, right in the centre of my chest, pulling at my heart. It's a strange sensation, like I'm losing everything at once. It claws at me, dragging me back from the edge of the void, and suddenly—I feel. I feel pain. Real, agonizing pain.

My eyes snap open.

The world is a blur, unfamiliar and sterile. The walls are white, cold, nothing like the home I imagined. My head pounds with the weight of it all, and every inch of my body screams in protest as I try to move. But the pain—it's nothing compared to the relief that floods me when I look down.

Katherine, my wife.

Her head is resting on the crook of my arm, her face turned away, and my heart stumbles in my chest. My throat tightens as I force a word past my lips, my voice barely a whisper, raw and broken.

"Pcholka."

Her head snaps up, eyes wide and blurred with tears, and before I can process it, she's sobbing—loud, uncontrollable sobs that tear at my already fragile heart. She throws herself into my arms, her body shaking with the force of her cries.

Pain. So much pain. But I don't care. All I feel is her—her warmth, her weight, her tears soaking into my skin. The ache in my chest is nothing compared to the overwhelming joy of having her in my arms again.

She's crying harder now, and I can't stop the groan that escapes my lips as she kisses me—rough, desperate, like she's trying to make sure I'm real, like she's terrified I'll disappear if she lets go.

"I thought I lost you," she sobs, her hands gripping my face as her tears blur the world around us. "I thought you were gone forever, Ace. I... I wanted to hate you. I wanted to be free of you, but I can't... I can't..."

Her words break me. Seeing her like this—so broken, so full of pain—I'd give anything to take it all away. I don't deserve her forgiveness, don't deserve her love.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, the words tasting bitter in my mouth.

She pulls away, wiping her face, shaking her head like she can't bear to hear it. She doesn't say anything, just calls for the doctor and the nurse. And just like that, she's retreating from me, slipping away as if being close to me is too much for her to handle.

My heart cracks, bruising the walls of my chest as I watch her pull back into herself. She's closing herself off from me again, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

A flurry of nurses and doctors swarm the room, checking my vitals, asking me questions, but I don't hear a word of it. I can't stop looking at her—at the way she's avoiding my eyes, at the way she's distancing herself. She's slipping away, and I can't bear it.

I see the moment she decides to leave. It's in the way she stands, the way her hand trembles as she reaches for the door. She's running from me, and I don't know how to stop her. I try to call out to her, try to move, but the nurses hold me down, their hands firm on my shoulders.

And then she's gone.

The emptiness returns, more suffocating than the darkness that held me before. My heart feels hollow, my body numb. I barely register the presence of others in the room until Viktor comes in, his eyes red, filled with unshed tears.

He hugs me tightly, and I hold on, but it feels empty. Even when the rest of my friends—Alex, Aiden, Aaron, all of them—come in, I feel nothing. Alex tells me my father's dead, that Aaron shot him during interrogation. I nod, but I can't feel anything. Not victory, not grief. Just... numbness.

As the room clears, and only Viktor remains, I finally ask the question that's been burning in my mind since the moment I woke up.

"What happened? Where's my wife?" My voice sounds dead even to my ringing ears.

Viktor takes a deep breath, his eyes filled with something I don't want to see—deceit wrapped in pity. "After we decrypted your phone, we tracked down the location. Alex took Andrei out with a single shot. And your father... he had a heart attack as soon as Aaron put a bullet in his leg."

I swallow, the weight of everything crashing down around me. But it doesn't matter. Not if Katherine isn't here.

"Where is she?" I ask again, my voice breaking.

Viktor shakes his head slowly, pain etched across his face. "I can't, Ace. For both of you, I have to respect her wish."

"What wish?" I growl, my fists clenching the bed sheets.

"She needs space. She needs to heal. She asked me... she asked me to tell you to stay away from her. Let her go."

The words hit me like a bullet, cutting deeper than anything I've ever felt before. My grip tightens on the sheets, my knuckles turning white. "No."

Viktor's eyes fill with sorrow. "You both need this, Ace. She needs time."

The pain is unbearable. It crushes my chest, suffocating me. But I don't argue. I can't.

I watch him leave, and the silence swallows me again. The waiting in the hospital stretches into eternity. Seven days later, I walk out, a fitter version of myself, but the emptiness remains.

And then, it's time. Time to find her. Time to win her back.

This chapter was the most bittersweet chapter I have written, my heart feels heavy. it's truly the end of my book, and with my fever I feel tears welling my eyes as I post this. I love you all, thank you sooo much for giving me a chance and reading my novel when I am a mere rookie writer with so many mistakes and errors. 

-love rky xoxo.