Dear anxiety,
I'm hurt.
I don't know by what,
I don't know how.
All I know is that
this real pain that I'm feeling is tearing me apart .
Maybe it's you,
maybe it's the things you said,
the things you did.
I don't know,
so how should you?
But it's real.
I hate myself because of you.
I hate my thoughts,
I hate everything I do.
The tears I shed,
the blood that dripped from my scars,
the torment happening inside my head,
every time I open my eyes,
it's all because of you.
I only feel relief when you're gone,
I only feel okay when you're not around. You tortured me,
you tore me apart and that's why,
I wanted to say goodbye.
But that will never happen.
You'll always be a part of me,
whether I like it or not.
You make me feel like I can't succeed but I always do,
so why do you always occupy such a big part of my mind ?
Why do you have to kill me like that?
I know it's all in my head.
You don't even exist,
you're some twisted part of my imagination.
I cannot get rid of you and,
though I hate you I can't make you go away.
I wish we could be teammates,
I wish you could help me.
But we both know that won't be possible.
So why don't you just let me be instead? Since I have to bear with you
until the end of my life,
I hope you accept this letter
and let me be okay from time to time. Because that pain
I want to externalize,
that pain I want people to understand,
that undescribable pain you've put me through,
it has made me stronger,
but also vulnerable
so accept my apology for always hating you
even though that will probably never change.
Accept the fact that I am trying to be stronger than you,
and I
will accept
you.
YOU ARE READING
L.T.
PoetryIf there was a price in emotion, this book would cost it all... Our tears were melodies that made our feelings a symphony. My life flashed before my eyes. And I got to fall in love with you all over again. I'm fine. But that's a lie.
