L.T.

three words

I think I said it.
I think I told you I loved you.
And I did it because I really think I meant it,
So I did it without thinking about what it would do.

But now I'm thinking.
And now I'm scared.
About everything,
All those memories we shared.

I tried to hold on.
But it's like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You were my universe, my sun,
But it all stopped.

You'll leave.
It's not like it's unusual,
People always leave.
It's almost something crucial.

So what's the point?
It's going to hurt anyways.

Why doesn't he just leave now?
Maybe it'll be less painful.
Maybe it'll break me less, not be as tormentful.
You'd think I'd get used to people leaving by now...

I do think I love him.
But what if it's just my way of holding on to something?
Something I'm scared won't last, will surely brim.
Something shattering.

I feel like it'll hurt me.
And it'll just slowly tear me apart.
As I cry, grasping onto a life that isn't even what I want to be.
Not anymore, as it already broke my heart.

I used to be the first person to believe in love,
But right now it doesn't feel like it's enough.
Nothing will be, not for a dove.
White and majestically tough.

Cruising above this mess we call life,
Driving hope through people like me.
As those three words cut through us like a knife,
Make us bleed, pain us free.