L.T.

To my ex best friend

I hope it hurts.

Because it would mean that I was important enough for it to sting for you too. But you still want to forget.

As if all those moments we both loved break your heart at least as much as it shattered mine. You want to forget.

You don't even want to hear my name anymore. Because you want to forget.

I gave you all I had, and you are the one that left me in pieces.

You are the one that never came back. You want to forget.

I gave it so much time and effort, and you barely even gave a fuck. You want to forget.

That's why I hope it hurts. I gave so much that I have nothing left.

And you still have everything, so it'll be more painful with time.

At least I hope it will.

And that's horrible, but I still hope it's true.

Because in reality, even if the end of this one sided friendship is better for me, it broke me in more ways than I like to admit.

You long to forget the unforgettable.

And I want to believe it's because it hurts.

I don't want those memories to leave my head, even though they kill me.

Because I may not be ready to accept your apology and move on quite yet, I am ready to thank you.

Thank you for teaching me to put myself, my heart and my soul above the rest sometimes.

Thank you for breaking what was still in one piece.

If you want to forget, but can't, that's 'cause I was a big part of your life.

If it's easy for you to erase such a big story, then that's 'cause it meant nothing to you.

I don't know what I'm more afraid of.

To have given so much even though you cared so little; or to have been given so little, even if you cared so much.

So, here is to my ex best friend, here is to you, L. I hope my pain was worth every single memorie of us, that is now tainted with your betrayal.

I hope it hurts.