Vent art, poetry, and just... vent

How can these pools of color Relive my pain?

TW derealization, possible hallucinations , religious themes, sexual mentions, gore+ blood descriptions, fourth wall breaking , suicide, self harm

This is what my room looks like right now

Falling
Yet my foot hits the ground
I do not feel carpet
I feel wet meat instead
Skin, teeth and hair
My relationship in the stars

My body is not here
It's nøt anywhere in sight
It falls and it burns and it sparkles
You, the individual(s) reading this
Seeing a reflection in your mind
A poor representation of your perspective of what these words aim to write

Like these colors
Dancing off of letters
The colors having sex on the ceiling
Crying in my ears
I'm not here
They tell me their filthy lies
Demented people
Skin clawed off
Cuts deeper than bullets
You may gag
But this is your god, your love, your savior

I am not me
Unfortunately that makes "proper introductions" very difficult sometimes
Lying
A specially designed piece for me
A perfect solution
Cut away skin
Flaying those who disagree
And those who care to simply whimper a complaint
Are nothing but myself

You stare at me
I'm not a normal man
This isn't who I am
Rip out my eyes, replace with hot nails
Tear out my brain, fill my skull with hot tea
Peel back the skin on my legs, patch me up with newspapers
Pull out the teeth, make them sharper then jam them back in
Pick off my fingernails, just throw them away
Stomp on my bones, just replace everything with ice
Stab off my ears and nose, place gears in their place
Drain the blood and fill me up with water instead
Cut off my tongue, make it robotic
Rip out my kidneys and colon, stuff up the open wounds with cotton
Take the stomach, a vacuum bag will do
Carve out the heart, more of a sentient bird thing

That's who I am
But not normally
I seem to have lost my will not to die
I'll kill myself eventually
I know it

The walls are thin
The colors don't match
The door is gone
In its place?
A window
Dark blue skies show through the clear glass
Clear, watery glass
The glossy fake clouds
Twinkling stars
Barking violently
Like a dog
Don't cry, mutilated corpses is what we all are right?
Right
Your death will be appreciated and loved
Your life is celebrated and cared over

I'm not here
I'm not alive
I'm not ready
I'm not afraid
I'm not awake
I'm not dead
I'm not noticing
I'm not drawing
I'm not walking
I'm not breathing
I'm not laying down
I'm not tall
I'm not pretty
I'm not handsome
I'm not "UwU cute fuckble cutie pookie"
I'm not sleeping
I'm not a girl
I'm not crying
I'm not happy
I'm not floating
I'm not being still
I'm not not decomposing

I'm not any of those things
I'm not....
I'm not
I'm
Im, tired? I think?
I'm not.... Sad
There's something else
Not an emotional connection
Just
A failure
Of nerve's connection with the brain

Hey I'm going back into time
Slippery Slope
Hahaha
Words
Funny
Falling into a vat of color
Pain
Toxic bitch
Blocking me like I am
Not even fully separated yet

Do not care
Or worry
These rules are important
Just hang low
Sing silently
Your voice doesn't make a difference
If you aren't you

But most importantly
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper
Don't stop bleeding out, keep carving deeper

Feeling lucky yet? =)