never again

16

han went inside the jype building.

he went to the usual training room, minho was already there.

"hi han, how are you?"

"I don't even know, you?"

"not bad."

"so, have you thought about the choreographies for your songs?"

"no, not yet. I know that I should, my mind is just full of the performance me, Felix and hyunjin have next month, that I wasn't able to focus on anything else."

"you better think about something minho, if you don't have the choreographies, we can't publish the album. and we have to, or jyp is going to kill us. use today's training for it, okay?"

"what will you do?"

han sighed.
"that motherfucker decided that he wanted to make an album, because one song/three months didn't make him as famous as he wanted, so he decided to fuck with me and told me that he wants to publish an album, right after I gave my backup songs to hyunjin. also, he's creepy as fuck."

"that's bad."

"yeah, he's a weirdo."

minho sighed.
"why did you even signed the contract then?"

"I don't know myself, I think i was drunk or high when I did it or something."

minho chuckled.

jisung went to his favorite corner and he took off his hoodie, because it was really hot there.
in doing so, his shirt got pulled out a little too, revealing his waist and his six pack.

minho was ( respectfully🫣 ) looking.
I mean, he saw him naked before, they had sex, but he noticed that Hans waist was even smaller than before.

god, how I miss his small
waist between my hands...I MEAN WHAT-?
WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING ABOUT?!

but then, he looked closely at his arms.
at his wrists.
he saw it.
and his heart dropped.

why...? why would he do that to himself?
did it all come back to him? his eating disorder? his self harm? his....suicidal thoughts?

han didn't notice minho staring.

he just sat down, taking out his notebook and a pen and started writing whatever came into his mind.

he had to admit, he felt like he was more productive than he normally was.

he didn't know if it was because he didn't took the second pill, or because he was just in his creative era.

well, in the end, he came up with lyrics fast as a lightning, so he didn't care.

he happily smiled when he finished the lyrics of six songs in a hour.

he happily stood up and started jumping towards the exit door.

"where are you going?" minho asked him.
he was still working on his choreographies.

"to the studio. I've finished the songs, now I just need instrumental."

"you finished SIX songs in a hour? I couldn't even come up with one full choreography for my songs."

han happily smiled.
"yeah."

he showed his notebook to Minho.
and he was right.

"woah, you're good."

"yeah, work on your choreographies now. if you won't come up with them by the end of this week, we will have to tell someone to create them for you. we don't have time."

"roger that."

han happily went to the studio and minho couldn't help but smile.

he looks so happy today.
I wonder what happened that he smiles so much today.

Han went to the studio and started creating instrumental. I mean, the sooner he finishes this, the sooner it will be over and he can leave mang hang in the past, of course, there was still six months left, but he thought positively.

He started creating, and by the end of the day, he had the instrumental for all of the new songs, he just needed to make demo for them, but he will do that tomorrow, because he doesn't need to be here, since it's danceracha training.

he went back to the training room and he saw Minho dancing on one of his new songs.

"I see you have one choreography done."

"Not one, three."
Minho said proudly.

"wow, congratulations." Han said jokingly and went to take his things.

"wanna walk with me?"
Han asked.

Minho was caught off guard.

"w-what?"

"is okay if you don't want to, I'm just asking."

"no no no no no, I want to, I'm just....surprised I guess?"

"oh, okay, are you going then?"

"oh, yeah, of course."

Minho quickly packed his thing and went after Han.

"gosh I'm so sweaty, I can't wait to take a shower."

Han chuckled.
"yeah, I can't understand how can you be an idol, I couldn't do it."

"why?"

"I mean, the training period, interviews, concerts, stalking, shippers... I could go on."

"yeah, that's the other side of it, but then there's the other one. the support, edits, the interaction with fans... it's worth it."

"I still think I was was worth more than that." han mumbled to himself.

"what?"

"oh, nothing."

Minho looked at him suspiciously.
"what did you say?"

"Nothing, just forget about it."

"if you won't tell me, I will start singing your old songs you wrote when you were younger."

"pff, as if you remembered it."

Minho cleared his throat.

"jOgIo nOoNa hOgShI nAmJaChInGu iSseO-"

"OH HELL NAH SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Minho laughed.

"should I continue?"

"why are you doing thisss?" han whimpered.

"okay, you don't have to tell me."
Minho chuckled.

they walked in silence for a while.

"okay, but hear me out, does actually noona have a boyfriend?"

"MINHOOOO!" jisung whimpered again.

"okay, I will stop."
minho chuckled at the embarrassed boy.

they reached jisungs apartment.

"well, goodbye."

"goodbye, sleep well." minho said and left to his apartment.

he felt happy that he was getting closer to jisung, but at the same time, he felt guilty.
he caused him so much pain three years ago, a pain that he even didn't have to cause, and now jisung is speaking to him openly again.
he couldn't help but feel bad.

I mean, he wanted to be close to Han again, he just didn't want him to forget what he caused him.

A/N
hello my beautiful people 🤍
I just want to say that with the storyline of hans bipolar disorder I got inspired by the tv show "spinning out", where the main character has bipolar disorder.
let's be real, I know almost nothing about it🙃
I mean, I googled something for the sake of this story, but that's all.
Wikipedia even said that there is no source, so the facts could be wrong.
so the storyline of his disorder will be the same as the main characters.