Just A Monster (KP FIC)

23

My head was practically spinning as I slowly crept in the direction of the garden, my paws occasionally dragging onto the rubble of the crystal cavern. I was to weak to walk on my own two legs, so on my way here I made a slow descent towards the ground until I was eventually on all of my fours, feeling my self trembling with a need for blood. It made me sick. This behavior was normal now a days of course, I genuinely felt like throwing up at the way it felt. So much vibration and movement rattled my empty belly, never to make any sounds from the inside like a regular one would have. Repeatedly I was reminded why I was on this totteringly slow journey to exit the caves. I found my self standing in the middle of the hall that had the large garden window built into it's walls, several decisions of which room to actually go in at every turn. I didn't know where I wanted to go, nor did I know if any of these doors would reveal something I could gnaw my aching teeth on when opened.

I attempted to scoff at my self at finding such a "simple" task to make complicated but it came out as more of a grunt laced and dragged with a mix of attitude and saliva. Annoyed, I quickly wiped my mouth of the fluids and continued on, deciding my best option would be the garden, even if it was constantly occupied by settling humans and gootraxians. I was so hungry I didn't bother to contemplate it for even a second, I'd just be wasting time, and my hunger would eventually increase until I was driven to madness, mindlessly roaming the halls with my jaw gaped and dripping with drool, I doubt I'd remember the events of before if I ever managed to get to that point. I shook the thought away, not wanting to go into depth about it as I stepped towards the tree. Everyone down here considered it as sacred as can be having stood tall and healthy through out the many years of it lacking sunlight. Before my many "incidents" I'd come here occasionally, listening to Figs gossip about it's ancient and likely powerful leaves that only carried a third of the abilities the general source did. They were obviously fake, but entertaining, especially when I would visit after a long and grueling shift that'd work my bones to rot. I promised my self I wouldn't dwell on these feelings and embrace my new self, but how could I? The memories were to memorable and special to forget no matter how hard I tried.

It eventually became clear to me maybe it wasn't for the best I forgot about them running my hands along the patterned carvings of the wood while still remaining stood on my 2 legs and a single arm. The pain, physical and mental, seemed to have faded for only a moment, being shadowed by a small figment of my recent memories, more positive ones specifically. They occurred after the time of my several murders but were surprisingly joyous, the amount of times I saw a smiling face or heard the sound of laughter was unreal. The world around it seemed so vibrant as well, mainly setting it self with warm colors of orange and yellow. It was relaxing and thinking about it whilst continuously slowly blinking my eyes made me drift into an entire other world. I heard the sounds of the voices in my head for only a second, pestering me of something I couldn't quite depict their wording despite them remaining dormant in my headspace, I could usually hear them if they spoke as low as a whisper. They sounded panicked and slowly grew louder, almost making me want to arise from the grave of my eternal day dreaming to see what they were barking on about. But they soon became more light and soft, sounding more and more like gootraxians I knew all to well, speaking directly at me with cheerful tones, each word implying a want for me to join them someplace. Whether it were an activity, someone hosting a silly game or daring me to participate in childs play, it required me to be there, wherever they were.

My eyes had fluttered closed and my paw slid from the trees base all the way to the soft grass below, the rest of my body out of pure instinct joining my hand and increasing the feeling of a warm pillow being placed at my every end. The pain on lingered in my head, practically throbbing every few words that were spoken, I could care less, I could still hear everything I wanted to hear.

At that very moment, just when I felt my self ascending to the world I always dreamed of, the sound of one of the doors likely being thrown down pierced my ears, making me shoot up in alarm, blood running cold as I realized what I had just awaken from. All of the voices had abruptly stopped, as well as the image of past acquittances seeming to have taken forever to fade before they had gone completely, leaving an aching feeling in my heart.