Frozen 3

Chapter 49

Honeymaren

April 20, 1847 I am writing this letter to you because everything is going badly here. Yesterday, when Ryder came home, I immediately understood that something was wrong. His face was completely disconcerted. He seemed deeply upset. It took him several minutes to tell me everything. His hands were shaking as he spoke to me. He seemed still in shock... My mind took a long time to digest all the information it gave me. "We lost a woman and her child," he said. She was pregnant for the very first time, after years of unsuccessful attempts. She was forty years old; her husband was forty-four. He told me all that. If you'd seen his look when he told me what I'm telling you here.... I'd never seen a man so down. It seemed empty, almost dead. It was so pale that I feared it would collapse any moment now. But no. After a long moment of silence, he got up and left the room we were in, disappearing I don't know where. I have not seen him since. He must certainly want to escape his dark existence without really succeeding. Do you know what I did when I found myself alone? Something awful that I bitterly regret. There was this kind of table covered with a white sheet at the back of the room. I knew exactly what was underneath, but I couldn't help but be curious. I pulled it out. The inert body there was found three quarters. The smell, the vision of the face of this woman frozen forever in pain, the pallor of her skin, her thighs covered with dried blood that no one had bothered to clean... Everything. Everything disgusted me to the utmost and yet I could not look away. And I blame myself. I blame myself because now I am condemned to dwell on what I have seen. If you knew how the baby's sight has repulsed me... His small, motionless, yet bloody body lay beside his mother. He was still far from being fully formed. The doctors had not even bothered to cut the cord that held them together. They will stay together forever. But you know what hurt me the most? It's seeing how tiny this baby was and didn't get the growth it was supposed to have. Her mother could not bring her what he needed because she herself had suffered from not being able to eat enough. I vomited. I couldn't hold back, not after the terrible spectacle I had just witnessed.Of course, the whole village was warned of this tragedy. The Northuldra were all gathered in front of this hut which rose a silence of death. I'm the only one who went in. I can't tell you why I did that. Maybe that feeling of understanding what that now widower felt. He had just lost what was most dear to him. I know that horrible feeling...The nurse who was there looked at me strangely but finally accepted my request without hesitation. She came from Arendelle, just like the doctor.... I was surprised not to see Yéléna or Silja inside. Why would they ignore such a tragedy when they are usually the first concerned when something goes wrong? Well, I don't know. But I learned later that Yéléna had been locked in her tent for several hours and had expressly asked not to be disturbed...

I am writing this letter to you because when I came out of this terrible place – you can imagine that I was at worst – something that I had never really noticed so far hit me hard. I discovered the silent but treacherous animosity that people can have towards each other. They were all still there, forming an indistinct mass of people. Not a murmur rose from the crowd. From time to time, everyone looked at his neighbour with a suspicious or uneasy look and said, "Has he had more food than I have in recent days?" or "I'm sure he made some reservations this winter and is selfishly keeping them to himself". There, before my eyes, I saw and understood how the world in which we live is increasingly filled with hatred. Trust gradually disappears and leaves room for doubt and jealousy. We, who have always been a people advocating mutual aid and respect and cursing the doctrine of "each for himself" that we thought reserved for civilizations different from ours, are now becoming what we have so long banished. And why? Because the fragile balance that until then Nature offered us is completely upset by the disappearance of elements as necessary as those of the earth, fire and wind. But we still have the most vital of them: that of water. However, what will happen when he too succumbs to this dreadful curse?

I am writing this letter to you because – I dare say – a war is about to break out in the heart of the village. No one speaks to each other. Everyone is just watching each other's every move. The tension rises in this silence that has set in. I no longer recognize the peaceful people that were once the Northuldra. One distrusts one's neighbor, one rises at dawn in the hope of being the first to use the few resources left in the forest. If you saw them rushing at dawn to the stream along the village to harvest as much water as possible... They are about to tear from the hands of their neighbor the filled bucket that he tries hard to bring home. Compassion no longer exists. This war will certainly break out if the spirit of the water were to disappear. And what will we do? Like everyone in spite of all our efforts to get rid of it. We will have no choice if we want to survive; because it will be a matter of life or death.

I'm writing this letter to implore you to come back. I need you. We all need you. You're the one who first pulled us out of a curse. I'm sure you can do it again. Despite everything they can say, you were chosen by Nature herself. She gave you such powers to help humans and the wild world coexist. If you don't come back, it will be chaos as it has been in the past... but within our own people this time. This woman and her child were the first victims. How will we support more? Arendelle already has one of Iduna's descendants. We need the second one. So I beg you, come back quickly.  

***

I hesitated for a moment to add two words to this end of the letter. Two simple words to write but which could cost me so much. I bit my lower lip. "A homosexual relationship of this kind – especially with someone from Arendelle – is never conceivable. Never!"I sighed and reluctantly signed my name, without a word more. When I put the letter in an envelope, my eyes let out a tear that came crashing on the paper. I wanted to wipe it with the tip of my finger but too late it was already inlaid, leaving a sad mark. My belly suddenly emitted a little gurgling that I had been trying for several days to ignore. It was hard, harder and harder, and yet, I had to hold on and especially not let myself be carried away by the madness that seemed to take more and more people to the village. 

***

The outside heat had become unbearable. Yet the centre of the small village was teeming with people. The Northuldras rushed from one end to the other, desperately holding a bucket of water under the arm or some dried up roots but which one could hope to make a broth, even cold. I tried to make my way through the crowd when suddenly a young woman collapsed before my eyes. I rushed to her, realizing that the heat had crushed her. She was exhausted and did not even seem to be able to stand. I looked around and screamed: "Could someone bring me some water?"No one stopped. They continued their journey imperturbably, without even giving a glance to the one lying there, unconscious. My heart tightened. "Please, this is an emergency!" I cried more beautifully. My voice broke when I realized that no one would pay attention to me. I cannot get away from her. If I do, they will trample it without even realizing it, I thought. I then noticed a man a few meters from me who had just put his bucket at his feet, tired of all his back and forth. He mopped his sweaty forehead with a small towel that he took off his belt. I threw myself on him, grabbed the piece of cloth with a sharp gesture and plunged it into the small basin of still fresh water. "Eh! What's wrong with you?" he roared as I did. I gave him a black look and walked towards the young woman lying on the ground."Let it go! It belongs to me!" he yelled, trying to tear the towel I was holding from my hands. "She needs it!" I cried, pointing to the poor woman. "What do I care?"He strengthened his grip on the object and gave me a violent knee in the ribs. I let go, the breath suddenly cut. I curled up on myself, wincing in pain. "Now get out!" he said, pushing me out of his way. "Leave her alone! I think you've done enough."I turned my head and saw the nurse of Arendelle who was facing the man who had left me without the slightest remorse. "Shut up and go back among the traitors!" he said to her, before going away for good.The young woman seemed angry but managed to keep her cool. She approached me and asked me in a soft voice: "Is everything okay?"I straightened myself painfully. "I will survive," I replied. "It is she that we must worry about."The nurse followed my gaze and turned around. "I'll take care of her in you don't worry," she told me as she approached the Northuldra still unconscious. I helped her to put the young woman in a safe place and sat for a few moments watching her care for her new patient. She quickly noticed my gaze. "Can I do something for you?" she asked me. I looked up at his smiling face. "Well... I hoped that you could give this to the queen's sister, I admitted, handing her the letter I had written a few minutes earlier. "Elsa?"I nodded. She grabbed the envelope and sarcastically added: "Don't worry, I'll make sure to send it to her when I get back to the traitors."I had a small, embarrassed laugh, not knowing what to answer her.