Frozen 3

Chapter 82

Honeymaren

The day had already risen long ago, but I was unable to get out of bed. It was not even mine, but Elsa's. It had been three months since I had invested his hut, no longer supporting mine. Since then, I spent my days locked up, not wanting to put my nose out and face the other Northuldra. I couldn't stand them any more, I didn't want to see them. They inspired me only disgust, hatred and sadness.

I turned to the side, pulling the sheets up to my ear. With my eyes ajar, I watched the daylight seep into the room through the small gaps in the shutters. I had no idea what time it was. I had been living out of phase since Ryder was gone. Ryder.... I couldn't think of anything else. All my life had stopped, all my memories were now condensed on my brother, everything else seemed to have disappeared. I was only a shadow of myself: I no longer spoke, I no longer laughed, I only ate the bare minimum, never being hungry again. I hadn't told anyone about me, so what? They all didn't care about me like I didn't care about them. Going out was like facing their eyes and their questions. I wasn't ready for all that. I wanted to be left alone for the rest of my life. Suddenly, I remembered Elsa, like a flash of light in a thick fog. She was the only person I wanted to see. I missed her just as much as my brother. But it wasn't the same. One was impossible to fill, unlike the other. I wanted to curl up in the arms of the young woman and cry all the tears that my body still had, until my eyes were no longer able to shed a single one. I had cried so much these past few months that I didn't know if I was still capable of it. All my tears had crashed one after the other on the pillow under my head. It had taken weeks before I was dry again, before I finally accepted reality: my brother was dead, and nothing could bring him back now.

I suddenly heard a knock at the front door. I growled a grumble of discontent and sank a little deeper into bed, determined not to go open. They knocked again. I took one of the pillows and pressed it with all my strength on my ears, refusing to be disturbed. The blows then increased, drumming harder and harder against the wooden door. I sighed, abruptly rejected the sheets, and rose softly.

«I just want to be quiet and they are not able to understand it», I mumbled while crossing the corridor in pajamas.

I came to the front door, gently put my head against it to try to hear something. The person who had knocked seemed to have left. As I was about to return to the room, I heard shouting:

"Honeymaren, please open up!"

I did not recognize the voice that spoke to me.

"Who is that?" I said in a dry tone.

"Isaak, Erik's brother..."

I violently opened the door, interrupting it.

"Don't say his name. Not before me. Never!"

He looked down sadly.

"I'm sorry...I..."

"Go."

"Please, I have to..."

"Go away!" I cried this time. "I don't want to see you or anyone else."

He stepped back a few steps while raising his gray eyes toward me. He looked too much like his brother. It was barely bearable.

"I beg you, you must come and see," he insisted.

"See what?"

The young man reached out to me.

"Come with me, I have to show you."

I watched it silently for a few seconds.

«I'd rather die than take hold of this hand that you hold out to me», I whispered.