Frozen 3

Chapter 75

Elsa

It was dark outside. Honeymaren and I were the only ones venturing out at this hour, it had become too dangerous. We were walking silently, both concerned about our last conversation. How did I not understand it earlier? I realized that I had been far too self-centered without caring enough about others.

"That was a long time ago?" I finally asked.

"Yes, before I left him."

"Were we dating ?"

"A little, yes."

I didn't dare ask her for more. I knew what pain left such trauma, I was only too well placed to understand it.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to...

"It wouldn't have changed much, you know", she says with a sad smile. "I didn't tell anyone before you, not even my brother. He will never be ready to hear it."

As we were about to leave, Honeymaren held me back and whispered in my ear:

"I'm sorry I've rejected you for so long. It's not you I should blame..."

I wanted to answer her but did not have time to do so: she gently grabbed my face and laid a shy kiss on my lips. I could not help but draw her closer to me and kiss her back. We reluctantly parted a few seconds later, for fear of being surprised. I watched the young woman go home and smile before closing the door of her cabin. I only had one thing left to do: find Silja.

***

I pushed the sides of the old woman's tent. It was very dark, I could see almost nothing.

"Silja?" I murmured.

No answer. She wasn't there. A Moon ray came inside, revealing the mess that littered the ground. Cups, pots, wooden utensils, jars with indeterminate contents... Everything was turned upside down. I looked up. There was something lying on her bed. I stepped inside the tent, avoiding objects scattered all over. My foot, however, came across a clay container that broke when I walked on it. I stopped immediately, for fear that the noise would warn someone. Hearing nothing move, I continued to the bed and discovered a piece of fabric torn and folded in half that had been left on the thin mattress. I caught it and opened it. There was something written on it. I hesitated for a moment, not knowing if it was meant for me, and then, taken by curiosity, I ended up bending down until I found a moonbeam allowing me to see clear enough to be able to read the inscription. It was a rough, feverish, almost unreadable writing. It could only come from the Northuldra shaman. Suddenly, a noise outside made me immediately hide the piece of cloth in my back. Someone was approaching, a heavy step in three steps, leaning on something to walk. I felt immediately relieved. She was back. I was about to go out with a smile on my face, when the sides of the tent suddenly went away. Yelena appeared in the cleavage. I retreated from surprise, not expecting to see her.

"What are you doing here?" she wondered as she saw me.

"I... I came to get Silja," I replied.

My voice wasn't as confident as I wanted. Whenever I was in the presence of Chief Northuldra, I suddenly felt weak and unable to cope.

"She's not there?" she asked, glancing inside.

"No. "

"Strange..."

"You...you wanted to talk to her?"

Yelena gave me an icy look, making me immediately understand that I did not have to interfere in her intentions.

"What about you?" she replied. "What did you want from her?"

"I had to ask her a question. "

"Well, if she's not here, what are you waiting for?"

I squeezed the piece of cloth I was still holding in my hand. I didn't want her to notice.

"The same as you, I guess. Let her come back. "

"I was supposed to tell her about you, but now that you are before me, I might as well ask you these questions directly."

I couldn't wait. I had no desire to stay there with Chief Northuldra but understood very quickly that she would not let me leave until I answered her. I then sat on the bed of Silja, waiting for Yelena to question me.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, still impatient.

She took the shaman's rocking chair and settled on it.

"What did you see in Ahtohallan?"

I didn't expect such a direct question. Yelena never went around the bush. She was right to the point. I knew I couldn't lie to her.

"My mother," I replied.

"You know the truth now, don't you?"

"Yes. Did you know?"

"Of course. Every Northuldra in my generation and in Silja's generation knows that. "

"Not the others?"

"No. We wanted to silence the story of Iduna, we should not think that our people still had relations with her. Silja was not to remain her mother in the collective imagaire. She had to be an isolated being with whom no one had a relationship. And it worked, the Nothuldra born during our thirty-four years of isolation never suspected it."

"Then why did you choose to let me discover the truth?"

"I had to do it. Silja made it clear to me and something inside me pushed me to do it when we were on that beach. And— I didn't want to regret it afterwards. If I had realized it was too late, I would have been very sorry—

"How too late?" I wondered.

Yelena said nothing, merely turning her stick in her hand. She seemed to admire the motifs carved on it. I never got close enough to see what it was. Taking advantage of her lack of attention, I brought the piece of cloth to my thighs and put my hands on it to hide it from her.

"Silja will not be eternal in this world. I wanted you to know the truth before you could see her anymore."

Chief Northuldra's words appealed to me. Why did she say so?

"You mean before she died?" I hesitated.

Yelena's lips showed a little smile. She leaned on her stick, got up with difficulty, and went to the entrance of the tent.

"Not really," she says, opening the panels.

She went out without giving me time to react. I then felt my heart panic and hurried to open the piece of cloth that I had so preciously kept on me. I did not understand the gibberish. It was late, I fell asleep and was unable to think. Yelena's words seemed blurred. Exhausted, I could not help but fall into the bed I was sitting on. Refusing to put aside the piece of fabric, I held it open a few centimeters from my face, eyes riveted on it. I reread in loop the few words written while feeling the sleep catch me little by little.