Flashback
TW: SH
24th January 1997
It's been 2 weeks, if that. They all knew something was wrong in the days that followed me getting the mark. I felt myself withdrawing, becoming lost in myself and my thoughts. I always have this conscious thought in my head, it's like the image of it has been burned into the back of my eyelids.
Draco didn't speak to me for days, locked himself in his dorm and missed all of Monday's lessons last week. It makes me so angry. He's so fucking selfish. After that, when he began to re-integrate, he spoke to no one about his 'blip' and got his shit back together. However, he was the only one who knew what was wrong with me, and therefore took it upon himself to help me get my shit together. Another family bonding exercise.
The day after it happened i was oddly fine. I didn't feel that bad, apart from the fact i was building up courage to send that Letter to Mattheo. The day after that it was like a downward spiral. First i stopped talking to everyone else. I told everyone id got "Dracos sickness bug", when really i was locked in the bathroom trying hard not to fall back into old habits.
I haven't spoken to Mattheo since the day after. I broke things off, said it 'wasn't a good time'. God knows how he'll react when he finds out the truth.
My arm has this constant unusual feeling. Like a vague itch, or a small burn, as the dark magic courses through my skin and embeds itself in me. I find myself staring at it a lot, scanning my eyes over every little detail repeatedly. Tracing my fingers around the outline with my nails.
Im lost in my thoughts when the door slams open. Realising how this looks, I stand, pulling down my sleeve in fright, then turning to face the door.
Enzo is stood in it's frame, some sort of food item in his hand, with a muddled look on his face. It's concern, but it's also not surprise. Neither of us move initially, I just hold his eyes, waiting for him to say something.
He's just as shocked as i am, waiting for me to say something first.
"Enzo-"
Turning around, he pushes the door shut behind him, the bread-looking-thing falls from his hand. He pulls out his wand, uttering a locking charm on the dorm door, before shoving his wand into his back pocket and walking over to me.
"Enzo.." I step back.
"Show me." He stops in front of me.
"It's not what it looks like."
"I hope it isn't. Because you know what it looks like."
"It wasn't my choice, well it was, but it wasn't the plan okay, I had to do it, for him."
"What?" He splutters, running his hand through his hair. "None of that makes any sense Amara. Doing that for who? You know what happened last time."
"Wait, Enzo, what?"
"I know it's hard but you should have come to me, I could have helped."
I realise then that we are both talking about two different things. I assumed he saw the dark mark on my arm, but now I don't think that he did. I don't blame him for thinking that, he's not even that far off. I'd been thinking about doing it again.
"Enzo it's not that." I shake my head, trying to shut down his assumptions and get him on the same page as me.
"What?"
"It's not, that. It's something else."
"Something else? I saw how quickly you pulled down your sleeve."
"Yes but-"
"Don't lie, please." He cuts me off. "I knew you were acting off lately, I should of asked, or noticed something was happening again, i'm sorry-"
He keeps going, and the only thing I can think of is pulling up my sleeve and sticking my arm out in front of him.
Falling silent almost instantly, his eyes linger on the mark. His face races through about 10 different emotions in the space of a second, before taking my arm in his hands and running his hand over the top of the ink. I can feel my heart pounding in every inch of my body, and my breathing has noticeable quickened. The silence is tearing me apart and I can feel my legs shaking from beneath me. Standing completely still, he is still silent, holding my arm in his hands.
"Enzo say something for fucks sake."
"I-" He pauses, not drawing his eyes away. "When did this happen?"
"Weekend before last."
"Why-"
"I took Draco's place."
"You chose this?" He's not angry, he's just quiet.
"He was going to give it to Draco. As soon as the Dark Lord said it I felt him change beside me. He was going to panic and cause a scene I knew it. So I did the only thing I could think of."
"You didn't have to do this for him."
"I did. Older sister duties or whatever."
"You are twins."
"I'm older though. I've been doing shit like this for him my whole life Enzo."
"This is crossing a line-"
"There's no line for me to cross." I cut him off. He's still staring down at my arm, biting his lip.
"He better have been grateful." Enzo finally looks up at me, a sad look plastered on his face.
"Grateful?" I laugh, rolling my eyes and looking around the room.
"He wasn't-"
"He locked himself in his dorm room for days. You saw more of him than I did."
"He didn't seem ill." Enzo says quietly.
"Didn't think so." I mutter. "Retaliation for me taking his place. Childish."
He pauses again.
"Does Mattheo-
"No."
Another moment of silence.
"Neither does Pansy, neither does Theo. Promise me Enzo, you wont say a thing."
"I promise." His eyes still lay on the mark. "Is this why you and Mattheo aren't... anymore."
"Lasted one whole day." I scoff. "Milestone don't you think."
"I'm sorry Amara."
"I couldn't stay with him, with this..." I pause. "What's he going to do when he finds out." I whisper.
"He's not going to find out. Not yet anyway." Enzo reassures me. "It'll be our little secret."
"Don't try and make it sound fun."
"It sounds so fun." He laughs, then trails off. "What now?"
"I don't know."
YOU ARE READING
Flee from Freedom - (mattheo riddle)
Fanfiction"I never wanted to not want you" Voldemort has won, he's done it. Harry Potter is dead, the order is diminished, and it was all for nothing. All the betrayal from his own side, from the children he sent as spies, yet it all amounted to nothing. Now...
