Flee from Freedom | Mattheo Riddle

44: It's all Gone.

"We can't-" Mattheo begins, coughing on the smoke.

"Both ends of the corridor are on fire." Pansy runs back towards us, her hand over her mouth. 

"Out the window." I say.

"We are on the second floor Amara." 

"I can do a charm, if we all jump at the same time." Rushing over to the window, i tug on the lock, struggling to get it open. "Fuck." I stand back. "BOMBARDA." The glass shatters outwards. 

Pansy picks up Enzos other arm, and they both drag him to where i'm stood. I hold his waist and help as they both stand on the windowsill next to me. 

"We jump on 3." 

"Amara-"

"1."

"2."

"3."

We all jump. 

My heart lurches into my stomach as we fall, i almost forget to utter the spell. 

"Arresto Momentum."

We all come to a stop inches above the grass, then drop down to the floor. 

Wasting no time, i grab Enzo and drag his unconscious body up. Mattheo meets me halfway, picking him up too. 

"Wait wait." I stop, "i'll levitate him." Casting the spell over him, he floats into the air horizontally. I reach my hand to Pansy and pull her forward, away from the heat of the flames. 

Together, we all run further down the garden, as far from the manor as we can go. No one looks behind until we reach the hedges. Out of breath, i stop with my hands on my knees and Enzo floats to the floor. 

Turning back around, i see the Manor, my family home, fully engulfed in flames. I think of everything that's ever happened there. The abuse and the memories and the fear. All burning away into nothing. Draco, lying in his bedroom in a  pool of blood. I wonder if he was dead before the fire got him. And i think if it all gone, and the only thing i can do is smile.

Mattheo is looking at me, i can see him from the corner of my eye. And i just smile. It's all so funny, i suppress a laugh almost. It's all gone. It's all gone. 

And it's so fucking funny.

__________

07th June 1998 

Walking away from the scene was just about one of the best feelings i've ever had. It was euphoric, exhilarating almost. I could have jumped up and down in excitement, laughed with happiness. The smile was hard to wipe from my face, i had to bite my lip for so long to calm down. 

Now, a day later, i feel sick. A St Mungos trip was almost necessary really, although now i wish we had just tried to heal Enzo by ourselves. This hospital room is just the epitome of nearing death. Its walls are plain white, so is the ceiling, so is the floor. It's so bright yet so dull at the same time. The light pouring in from the window seems the reflect and light up the whole room to the point i feel blinded. There's 4 hospital beds, 2 occupied, 2 not. 

I can hear the strained voices of healers outside arguing with writers for the daily prophet and other secondary newspapers. It must be a thrill for them, Lucius Malfoy daughter and Lord Voldemorts son sat just behind the next door. 

Theo's dead, burnt up on the floor of the drawing room. 

Enzo is half dead, unconscious in his bed on the other side of the room. He's going to live, that's what the healers say. He just needs to sleep. I wish i was hit by a chunk of ceiling, then perhaps i could sleep properly. 

Pansy seems almost half dead, i'm sure if she doesn't stop crying soon, the tears might erode holes in her cheeks. She hasn't moved from the windowsill of our hospital room all day, staring silently out the window. 

Mattheo looks half dead, his eyes are no longer black and bruised, his cheeks aren't cut and his arms aren't torn. However, he still looks ill, still pale and the black circles under his eyes could almost appear as bruises from far away.  Despite all that, he can't take his eyes away from me. 

I'm sat in the chair next to his bed. I feel half dead. No scratch that. I just feel dead. I've lost my close friend. I've killed my brother. I keep saying it over and over in my head. I killed my brother. What the fuck? I feel as if i'm going insane by the minute. I killed my brother, the concept is so horrific, yet the lack of remorse i feel is concerning. I'm not sad, i'm just nothing. 

"Mara." Mattheo's hand slides to my leg, which i hadn't noticed was bouncing up and down so much i might as well have started seizing. I snap my head around to face him. "You aren't a bad person, for killing him. I need you to understand that."

"I know." I almost reply too quickly. "I had to do it, he deserved it." I turn my head back to the hands in my lap. "I don't think there was any way i could have left without doing it. That's what's scaring me, it's not like i just did it because he deserved it. I wanted to do it." 

"He killed Theo." The words cut through me as they come off his tongue. "I wouldn't have expected much else. If you hadn't have killed him i probably would have."

"He wasn't your brother."

"He didn't deserve to have that title."

"Does that make me insane?" I look back at him. "Am i just as insane as the rest of my fucking family?"

"No you are not." Mattheo's shift in his bed, trying to sit up more. 

I recognise his struggle and i stand, sitting on the side of his bed instead. 

"Look at me Amara." His hands drift up to my cheeks. "You don't need to think about any of that right now. Right now, focus on what's in front of you."

"You're only saying that cause you are sat in front of me right now." I joke. 

"Exactly." He laughs. 

I lean down, kissing him firmly on the lips. He returns my kiss, holding it for as long as he can before i draw back. I turn around and he makes space for me to lay next to him. 

This isn't where i expected to be at the end of the fight. To be honest, i was 90% sure we were going to lose.