Flee from Freedom - (mattheo riddle)

15: Passion

Flashback

10th January 1997 (Day before Amara gets the Dark Mark)

We only got back to school yesterday morning, classes don't start till Monday. Lucius was keen to get rid of us this time. He's too worried that Draco won't fix the cabinet in time. As always, he gets bored of us in the manor, eventually runs out of effort to punish us over the small matters and kicks us out unexpectedly in a rage. I'm still surprised every time we go home for the holidays. Probably Narcissa and her separation anxiety from my brother.

I received a letter this morning, I haven't opened it yet. It's addressed to both me and Draco, so I was planning on waiting for him to come back to the common room before opening it. I haven't seen him all day. Now he spends every second of his free time in that room, trying helplessly to fix the fucking cabinet.

I offered to help this morning, which resulted him telling me he 'didn't want my fucking help', then me telling him to 'fuck himself'. We haven't spoken since.

I've spent most of the day alone. Studying actually. My grades are average, I still try to do schoolwork when I'm not wrapped up in some family drama or death eater meeting. From what I know, everyone else is at home still, not supposed to get here until tomorrow morning.

It's nice to be alone for a while. Alone in a space I enjoy at least. Being in my room at the manor or locked in the small room in the basement doesn't count. A small ball of paper floats in front of me, on fire, keeping me warm in the empty dorm room.  I add to the small pile of cigarette buts are by my side, that i haven't bothered to put out. I watch as the one ive just finished disintegrates into ash. My back aches lightly from sitting on the hardwood floor, but I barely even notice things like that anymore.

I twirl my wand in my fingers, controlling the paper and making it spin around slowly. Staring intently as ashes float down from the alight paper, I almost don't hear the knock at the door.

I wait, to make sure what I heard was correct. My mind jumps to Draco, seeing if he's come back to be civil or something.

'Knock Knock' again.

"Amara, are you there?" A voice I immediately recognise as Mattheo's comes from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, hold on." I shout back, standing up and putting my wand in my back pocket. The paper falls to the floor and the fire dies out.

Pulling the door open, I'm met with Mattheo, stood almost through the doorframe.

"I didn't realise you'd be back this early." I find myself saying.

"I heard, from your father that you and Draco had come back so I.. came back. too. Rather be here than there." A smile flickers on his face, but trails off at the last bit.

I nod, then stand in silence for a second before realising how awkward it is. "Come in." I lean to the side, letting him pass before shutting the door behind him.

"Have you been in here all day."

"I went for a few walks around the castle, and the grounds, but mostly here yeah."

Mattheo reaches my bed, then picks up the potions book at the end of it. "Studying?"

"I'm almost failing potions."

"I can help, if you want. At some point. I'm excelling at potions."

"Oh i'm aware." I reply, making my way over to him.

"Where is Draco?" He leans against the end poster of the bed, as I lean down to pick up the charred ball of paper from the floor.

"Room of requirement. Fixing the cabinet. Well, trying to."

"Not getting very far?"

"Nope." I head for the window-seat and sit against the wall, bringing my knees up to my chest. "I offered my help but, wasn't received well."

"Course it wasn't, he's a stuck up prick, can't take help from anyone." Mattheo rolls his eyes, then turns his head back to me once he's realised what he said. "I-"

"No no I agree, he's a dick." I laugh, turning to look out the window.

A moment of silence fills the gap between the end of my sentence and the time it takes for him to sit on the other end of the window seat. Despite the window being quite large, having two people sat there shortens the gap. Despite Mattheo's feet remaining on the floor, we aren't that far apart.

Some part of me feels bold, whatever it is, but I slide my feet out until they hit his hip. He turns his head down to look at them, then up at me.

"Ow." He whispers.

"Don't be weird." I retract my feet back, sitting upright, then swinging them around to mirror his position.

Another moment of silence, it feels like forever. What happens next shocked me.

Mattheo stands, then turns to me, almost standing over me, looking down.

"What are you-"

I'm cut off as he pulls his head down, smashing his lips into mine. A wave of warmth shudders over me and I realise what's going on. Too shocked to move, I let him kiss me. A lack of reaction from me must have been felt, because he pulls back and stands upright.

"Mara, i'm sorry, I should've-"

Standing up, I cut him off by resuming the kiss and pulling my lips back to his. A feeling of agreement comes over us both.

It's slow, to start. But we soon realise how strong the desire is. His hands snake up my back to the base of my neck and into my hair. Mine find my way to his chest, pushing him back towards the wall. Our lips stay entwined as we move.

This is what I've been longing for, the whole time i'd been too scared to do anything. This is a feeling of recognition, of acknowledging the gap between us finally being filled. I've been waiting for this for so long.

I feel us stop as his back hits the wall. Tilting my head up to meet his, his hand holds the back of my head, deep in my hair. Eventually one hand falls from my hair down to the middle of my back, pulling me into him and holding me there.

Suddenly the grip loosens as he turns around to put me against the wall. I let my lips come away from his, gasping for air, our heads resting together. My eyes open and I see his have too. An amused smile fills his face, and I let out a small laugh before locking our lips back together,.

A deep passion burns between us. His body is heavy against me, pressing me into the wall. His weight keeps me trapped there, restricting my air flow as his hands move to my waist. His mouth comes away from mine and begins to trail down my neck. I gasp for air, letting my head fall back against the wall.

The kisses trail down my neck, then back up, along my jaw. I move my lips back down to meet his and he stands up straight again, leaning into me.

For a moment I think it might even go further but..

"Ahem." A cough comes from the other side of the room.

My eyes fly open, as does Mattheo's as we register the intruder.

"Gross" The voice comes again.

I look over Mattheo's shoulder to see Draco in the doorway. He still has one hand on the door and a look of disgust plastered on his face.

Mattheo smirks, then reluctantly pulls back from me, stepping to the side to face Draco.

"Did you want to knock?" I say sarcastically.

"Lock it next time." Draco walks further into the room, letting go of the door handle.

The moment is clearly ruined.

"Piss off Mattheo I want to talk to Amara." Draco sits on the end of my bed.

"Can't it wait?" I fold my arms.

"No it cant." Draco pauses. "I thought I said piss off?"

"Fine, I'm going." Mattheo holds his hands up defensively, before heading for the door. "Of my own free will of course, i don't take orders from someone as low as Draco Malfoy." He laughs 

"Funny." Draco shouts. He picks up his wand, pointing to the door. It slams shut and locks Mattheo outside.