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REALITY

i woke up gasping for air.

elias was sleeping on the floor of my grandfathers room. was i dreaming?

i scrambled to the edge of the bed in a hurry, looking down over the edge breathlessly.

"elias?" i called out.

he didn't respond. his head was filled with snores and he was laid out crazily on the floor. he was still holding his bottle of vodka. what the fuck happened yesterday if not that?

only one way to find out.

i crawled onto the floor and opened his arms for me to crawl into. he stirred a little in his sleep. "are you okay?" he woke up as i pulled myself against him.

"you said i'm your life," i said shakily. the thought that it could've been something my head made up again made me shake in nervousness. i didn't want to be crazy.

he laughed, "don't remind me, that was pretty cheesy of me," his voice was low and scratchy. he pulled me into his chest even closer, stroking my head gently.

"not a dream or episode or-"

"you should sleep," he said softly. "everything is okay," he assured.

my shoulders relaxed. i still felt like it was some sick joke of his. to toy with my emotions so intensely. i didn't understand.

but i understood this...feeling he gave me. the feeling was clear.

it felt like love, and he was right. still there was something hesitant behind this feeling. something uncovered. something that i couldn't quite trust immediately.

there was something about him that i couldn't understand. if he hurts every girl in the real world, why not me? what makes me better or worse?

what makes me different? or am i just the same? awaiting the same sickening reality that is betrayal or loss.

i fell asleep anyways.

THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

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