Blissful (Lumity)

- Chapter Eighteen-

Amity had avoided her all week. Anytime she even tried to get close, the other girl would run the other way, leaving her to contemplate her choices. Had this been what she had wanted? No, she felt her brain respond automatically, it hadn't.

                                          ..................

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

She burrowed into the comfort of her pillow, drying her tears on it. She had noticed the glances, the soft smiles, the air of regret surrounding her friend but she didn't know how to look her in the eyes. How to look her in the eyes and face her with all that she had caused. Even if she hadn't meant to, she had created trauma for Luz.

She felt a sob escape her as she groaned into the pillow. Spindly, itchy legs were scurrying all around her today. In fact, they itched a certain spot, a little ways above her neck. It tied its hands together and choked her until she forced it's arms to leave as she grasped at them.

Many, many, many times. Up, it came and haunted her thoughts. Down, it tried to choke her again. Up, it swallowed her whole and threw her into a ditch, burying her whole body until she was paralyzed with the heavy weight of the soil. Down, she was stopping, stopping, screaming, stopping, screaming.

She was falling and falling, and falling until she reached the end of the tomb with no oxygen. She felt her breathing stop short, felt her hands start to shake, felt herself curl up into a ball and regret her mistakes. Oh god, she felt herself think through the haze, was this how Luz felt all the time? When she had been worried about reputation, she had made her feel like this?

Around and around it spun, dancing it's merry tune as it tunneled her vision and impaired her hearing and made the best out of her worst. It thrived on her pain, eating, gobbling. She sunk, sunk, sunk. Deep, deep, deep.

Hello? She tried to scream but nobody could hear her. Where am I? But nobody would aid her.

She closed her eyes but was met with the darkness, the evil laughter of the creatures, for it had birthed babies upon it's feeding. It had been feeding slowly, with anticipation.

Note - I know this chapter is really short but this is how it feels to have a panic attack. I tried to put it into words so you, as the readers, could understand what Amity is experiencing. Though the ending is purposeful as a panic attack never truly feels finished.