This includes:
Anxiety, sleep deprivation, eating and just raw emotion.
A Katie McCabe story
(You have been playing for Arsenal for two years now and have bonded with the team well, especially Katie McCabe. Recently your anxiety has gotten worse, which affects your sleep, mood, ability to play, ability to focus, to eat and a lot more. This gets worse in the winter and it's that time of year, will Katie step into help before it's too late and your career is over)
12am. 1am. 2am. 6am. 9am. It's time to get up. Your alarm buzzes. You let it ring before a pillow comes flying at you. You turn the alarm off and thanked by the Irish woman you are rooming with by a grunt. "Fuck" you sighed. You woke up with that sick stomach feeling again. As per routine you let Katie sleep more as you get in the shower. You try to wash away the pain of not sleeping in the pitch black, you somewhat find comfort showering in the dark. You get out get changed, do your basic skin care, take your pills and leave the bathroom. Katie sleepily stumbles past you into the bathroom. You're in training kit and grabbed your hoodie that you never take off because it gives you some sort of comfort. You grab your phone, glasses, boots and shin pads. You pack it in your bag and head downstairs. You of course are the first one downstairs in the cafeteria for breakfast. You're not hungry, that sick feeling is still clawing at your stomach. The sight of the food is making you feel sick, you just grab a banana and go outside. You sat outside most mornings to eat, the cold air nipping at you and the dew still heavy on the ground. You put your hood up and ate the banana trying to keep it down. You feel sick every time you eat at the moment. You closed your eyes just trying to get rid of this headache. You must have gotten maybe 6 hours of sleep over the week so far, it's Wednesday. You just stared at the pitch. Jonas had called you into his office on Monday telling you that you need to "Buck up your ideas," or I'll be "Out of the team". Those words have been playing over and over again in your head. They started to get louder as you kept looking at the pitch only broken when some of the girls ran past and Katie hit you on the back telling you to hurry up. You slowly got up not wanting to be sick, and jogged lightly over to the pitch. You stood with the girls and listened to Jonas but the words went though you. You didn't know but a certain brunette was watching you, as your eyes glazed over hoping to escape your own brain. The whistle blew and the training started. You did your best to stay awake and not be sick. It was now drinks break, you had forgotten yours like normal so just stood there playing with your jumper sleeve. You were still being watched. Final whistle blew and training was over. Jonas came up to you putting his hand on your back "You did better today but I need improvement if you want to stay." You just nodded and walked off. You felt so dizzy. All the other girls had past you as you walked up. You got to a patch of grass and your legs gave away causing you to collapse to the floor. You laid on the wet grass sobbing to yourself. Till you felt a warm body pull you up and wrap around you. "Katie?" You said though hysteric sobbing. "Yeah my love." She said as she held you. "I'm sorry I'm so sorry." You sobbed to her. "I knew something was wrong I'm sorry I didn't help my love." She said holding you close. Soon the world faded around you and the sobbing stopped.
You opened your eyes. This isn't the place you last remembered. You were with Katie on the floor crying, oh god you were with Katie. You turned your head to see the brunette laid cuddling you. You rubbed your eyes seeing you were in your room, how did you get here? Katie couldn't have got you up here by herself she was strong but you were stronger. The woman woke up instantly soothing you, "Hey, hey you're okay I've got you sweetheart, shhh shhh." You turned to face her, she was inches from your face. "How did you get me up here?" I questioned "Well when I realised you were asleep I couldn't let you stay on the cold wet grass, so I called Leah to come help, I told her not to tell anyone anything and she agreed. We got you up here and she left me with you. Not to be weird or anything but I changed you from kit into a t-shirt and shorts and I put your hoodie in the wash it has grass stains." She said rather rapidly as if she stopped you would be gone again. "No it's not weird and thank you, I'm so sorry I didn't know it had gotten so bad." You told the older woman "It's okay you can talk to me." So you did you told Katie everything from when it started a few months ago, what happened with eating and sleeping. "Jonas told me I need to 'Buck up my ideas' or I'll be 'Out of the team'." You said pouring your heart out to her. She held you close, you expected her to run like everyone else does. "I'm proud of you. I'm here for you and I'm gonna help." These few sentences made you feel so loved and cared about like no one else has done. "Thank you." You whispered into her as you came closer and hugged her close, Katie placed her head on yours and just held you making sure you were safe.
