The last Hollingworth - a Hogwarts Story

Fucked up

I knew it was wrong.
But i couldn't bring myself to talk to her.
I really had thought that this was none of my business.
I knew that she wasn't lying.
That was all I needed to know.
That wasn't my fight so why get involved?

I only realised how wrong I was as she yelled at me.
She had been loud before.
She had a lot of temper.
But not like this.
How had I not noticed how much this had effected her?
Was I so blind?

My heart sank as she threw the necklace at me.
This all was more serious than I thought.
I picket it up and repaired it.
But I couldn't convince myself to talk to her.

My stupid pride and stubbornness kept me from it.
I saw how it hurted her.
And that hurted me.
I had Mattheo give me updates on her.
I tried to avoid her.
But I saw her everywhere.
And I noticed how she got worse.
Isolating herself, skipping meals, being late to classes.
Seeing her glassy eyes all the time hurted.

Even though I saw her I made sure she wouldn't see me.
I thought this would make it easier for her.
But it didn't.
Nothing got better.
I had forgotten that she was in the same history of magic class.
I only remembered as I saw her stumble in the classroom.

She looked even paler than usual.
Her hair messily falling in her face.
I could see the pain in her eyes as she saw me.
As she sat down right in front of me it felt like I would burst.
Everytime she flipped her hair back a wave of her scent filled my nose.
Her hair sparkled in the sun that was hitting through the window.

I was so focused on her.
I noticed everything.
Her exhausted look, the little red dots on her lips because she always chewed on them when she was angry.
She stroked through her hair like every 10 seconds, as always when she was nervous.
I sighed deep but silent.
She slightly scrunched her cute nose, as always when she the smelled the coffee in my breath.
Her face was so perfect.
The hint of freckles on the bridge of her nose, every mole every scar.
It was like right before me.
I wanted to kiss her so bad.
To hold her.
To tell her how much she meant to me.
It was driving me crazy.

All this disappeared as she almost ran out of the classroom.
It felt empty and cold.
Even if I would try to talk to her she wouldn't listen to me.
She must hate me.
Maybe she was better of without me?
Even if it would destroy me.

I had to think about this the whole time.
The whole day.
The day after I sat in the courtyard reading.
At least I tried.
I couldn't concentrate at all.
And it got even worse as Elli appeared along with some hufflepuffs.

I frowned.
I didn't knew why she was friends with such people.

My mood got even worse as some guys joined them. One of them sitting very close to her.
I felt my blood boiling.

I could tell none of them had noticed me.
They were talking and laughing.
But Ellis laugh wasn't real.
I could tell this.

It was so emotionless.
Normally when she laughed she was loud.
Her nose scrunched a little, her mouth slightly open, one very cute dimple on her left cheek.
None of that.
She pretended.

I clenched my hands around my book as I saw one of the guys lay his arm around her.
Without thinking I got up.
This wouldn't be happening.

I snapped as I saw how uncomfortable she was with this.
I pulled his arm away from her and instantly landed a punch straight to his face.
He whined and winced holding his nose.

„Don't even think about touching my girl"

I hissed.

I felt her grab my arm as she dragged me away.
A satisfied feeling spread across my body as I saw him spit out blood.

Elli pulled me into an empty corridor and turned around to me.
I couldn't quite read her face.
What was this?
Anger?
Pain?
Frustration?

„What the fuck Tom? What was that?"

I raised my eyebrows.

„You were clearly uncomfortable.
And as I said.
No one touches my girl"

„First of all I could have handled that myself! And secondly, your girl? Did I miss something?"

She was almost yelling.
Tears in her eyes.

„Don't be dramatic. He deserved it. And yes. You're mine. If you like it or not. No one else touches you!"

I was serious.
If we talked or not.
She was mine.

„You're insane! You can't just stand there and say that when it was you who betrayed me!"

„Betrayed? Oh come on"

„Fuck you Tom!
Really.
I feel like you see me as an object.
You don't even care about me!
You get me out when you want and throw me aside when it's boring or something.
All the things you did and said just feel like a big lie to me!"

This was like a punch in the face.
This wasn't true.
I meant every word I said to her.
But right now I couldn't say a single word.
It felt like I would choke on words.
She just gave me a desperate look and shook her head.

„Of course.
The mighty and mysterious Tom Riddle can't apologise.
I'm not important enough for that.
Why should I be?
Maybe you find a prettier girl?
Maybe you find a girl that will put up with your bullshit!
But as long as you're not even able to apologise to me or talk normally to me I'm done here"

With that she was gone.
Like vanished.
I stared at the spot where she was standing.
My heart felt like shattered.
I didn't even knew why i acted like that.
I didn't cared for anyone but her.
And yet i treated her like that.
Why was I like that?
She didn't deserved this.