Reach The Top

Chapter 10

Have you ever experience having a silence that is so loud?

My mind is like a blank space. Nothing is going through my mind. Only the words he just said. It's like your world stops for a moment and you don't know why.

I thought this is just an expression written in books. How authors describe someone's state. Can't believe it's actually true. Sinong mag-aakala na titigil nga ang mundo mo? Your mouth can't even express a single word.

"There. I said it. Now eat." that broke the silence I'm having.

Sa mundong maingay, boses lang si Ceasar ang naririnig ko. Nakatayo ako at sinisinghalan kanina ang lalaking katabi ko. Ngunit ngayo'y tila nanlalambot ang paa ko. Ang aking kamay ay siyang nanlalamig. Ang laway ko ay siyang natutuyo sa loob ng bibig ko.

"Unsa..."

Hindi ko pa iyon masabi ng daretsuhan. Boses ko ay parang bumubulong sa langit. Hindi ko pa sigurado kung narinig niya ba iyon. Ang mata niya ay nakatingin sa papel. Hawak nito ang lapis ngunit hindi naman ito gumagalaw.

"Unsay...buot nimong ipasabot?" my voice crack a little because of the tension that I'm having.

"Akala ko ba matalino ka? You're an honor student but you can't comprehend such a simple phrase?" his acidic voice shuttered to me.

"Let me rephrase that. It's not a simple phrase to me. It means a lot." he added.

Naupo ako dahil hindi na kaya ng aking paa. Ang upuan kong kanina'y mainit ay nawala. Ang pagkaing nasa harap ko ay paniguradong malamig na dahil nawala ang kaninang usok. I didn't know such a short conversation like that can last a lifetime in your mind.

Kakaunti na ang tao dito sa karinderya. Ang kasama namin ay ang mga taong halos patapos na rin kumain. Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin kong kasama mag-isa sa iisang lugar ang lalaking ito matapos ang nangyari. It can be pretty awkward.

"Stop joking it's not funny. You're a playboy. Not my type." I turn my voice into a joking one. Just to erase the thunder in our situation.

"I don't want your mother to be my mother in law." me and my bass voice.

"Damn, you're thinking about marriage already? I like it." he finally settled his sincere eyes to me.

Did I just said "finally?" So what? I'm wanting him to look at me? Geez, Zel. Fix yourself. You're a mess.

Ceasar really have the guts to say it. Confidently. Kung sa ibang lalaki, nahihiya silang umamin sa mga gusto nila. Parang wala lang kay Ceasar yung sinabi niya. I can't even tell if he's serious or what.

Nandito siya. Nakangiti at tinitignan ako. Iba ang pakiramdam ko. Sa tingin ko'y pinaglalaruan lang ako nito. 'Di ako magtitiwala sa lalaking basagulero. Malakas lang talaga tama nito minsan.

"Ayaw kong maging isa sa collection mo ng babae. Fuck and run lang ang alam mong gawin." inirapan ko ito.

"And oh... Stop pretending. Alam kong may gusto ka lang na sirain sa'kin kaya mo nasasabi yan. Tell your mother that I won't fall for your flowery words." sabi ko sa boses na patapos. I want to leave this place immediately. Ayaw ko ng makita ang mukha ng lalaking 'to.

"Why am I always involve in my mother's fault..? Why..?" he whispers on the wind.

I heard his voice crack a little. Nakatalikod na ako sa kaniya bitbit ang aking bag at narinig ko iyon. I can also sense the sound of frustration in his voice.

I didn't give a shit about it and just leave. First, he bumped into me to say his mother's wrongdoings and say sorry about it. Second, he asks me to his friend. On which I think..... I agree? Lastly, he confess to me now that he likes me.