Kingdom of the fallen

Five

I laid there, in silence. I didn't know what this feeling was.

"Was this love?"

I let out a sigh, in dissatisfaction. I wouldn't know.

"I haven't had the chance to meet someone so special, to be in love before. But something about this man was different. He's handsome, charming, kind, teasing, funny, he was everything. Could I really love him?"

I stopped as I heard the creaky door open. I quickly turned over and closed my eyes. What would happen to me if Felix found out I was awake. I heard the floor squeak underneath the footsteps.

"I know you're not asleep"

I sighed and relaxed. It was him. I rolled over and looked at him.

"I-I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep..."

I looked over, to see him sat on the edge of the bed.

"Why couldn't you sleep? Has something been on your mind?"

"Actually, there is."

I looked over at him, as he scooted closer.

"What have you been thinking about?"

"What does... love feel like?"

Sigh he laid down next to me as we both looked at the ceiling.

"Love is something you can't control. You can't pick and choose who you love, it just happens. Love can also make you do stuff that you don't want to do. It can make you go insane, or it can do the opposite. Love is the strongest feeling, and you must follow your heart. It can make you, or it can break you."

There was silence for a moment.

"Why do you ask?"

I yawned as I looked over at him,

"No specific reason, I've never had the chance to love, I wondered what it felt like."

He smiled as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll be here, and I'll keep you safe."

There was a pause.

"Safe from him."

I smiled as I closed my eyes. A moment passed as I felt the bed shuffle, and then his arm slowly wrapping around my stomach. It wasn't too fast, but it was slow enough for him to recline if I wanted. I didn't want him to stop. I feel the warmth of his body behind mine as he pulled me closer to him, with his body right behind mine. The soft cotton blanket laid over us as he kept one arm around me, while the other was playing with my hair. This felt amazing, and I wish the moment would never end. This, this was love.

When I woke up it was like my worst nightmare. He was gone. His warmth. His Feel. His safe loving touch. His dark, green eyes that sparkled when the light hit it right. His beautiful soft, shiny hair. It was all gone. He was gone.

I do have to admit, that was the best sleep I've ever had. When I woke up, I got a slap to reality. I got up, then I looked at my reflection from the rusty toilet in the side bathroom. There wasn't much, only a toilet and a sink, but I'm grateful for what I have. I wasn't allowed any mirrors of such, since it could be easily broken, and used to harm.

My eye bags were lighter than usual, but still noticeable. My red, strawberry blond-haired like hair was messy. It was like bed head yet slightly brushed out. Like combed from one's fingers. Last might was the best. It was like a fantasy dream. It was the best thing that has happened in my life. It was so amazing I got caught up daydreaming about him and I had forgotten where I was. I brushed out the rest of my hair as when I walked out, there was a note on my nightstand. Much smaller than before, but it read:

"Dear Kamilla, I had the best sleep last night, and had a wonderful dream. I hope you did too. I noticed you kept my letter under your pillow. It's a great place for it. Felix cannot know we are communicating like this, for he is always listening. I'm sorry I couldn't stay a while. I had to get home to the village, and I couldn't take the risk Felix seeing. My village is far since I am not from here. I left an hour after you fell asleep, so you wouldn't wake up. I'll be coming back later today. Stay strong for me and have hope.

With love, L"

I sat there confused. How did he know when I fell asleep? How did he know where the note was? What does he mean he's not from here? There are other villages? Wait... I sat there for a moment and pieced the missing puzzle pieces together. 'I found him lurking when I left you room earlier...' 'I've watched you from afar.'

"L... He's L!? He is L. He is L!! L... L!!!"

I sat there giggling like a maniac on drugs, while drunk. He was L. But what did he mean he wasn't from here? And his village was far? How far? It wasn't a good idea, what if the only other times I see him is with Felix?

These questions where still not answered. I couldn't talk to him about it, since Felix is always there, should I write a letter back? I would need something to write with. And to write on at that. It seemed like a clever idea; I could get some from L. It still feels unreal calling him L. Every time I say his name, I get this warm tingly feeling inside me. It's warm, and it makes me happy. This was love.