Romance?

Anthony.

January 1, 2023 - May 6, 2023

Anthony.

Anthony. Oh, Anthony. You were different from any of the guys I have ever been with. You were the person I needed. You just came at the wrong time. I still wasn't over Cameron, but it was just enough to move on to someone else. Although I did go boy crazy before we started "talking" I don't know when we really started talking. I think it was when you had stopped texting me a random thing (with Rizz) at the end and my good friend who is now one of my best friends along with being my therapist messaged you. He told you I liked you, and to give me a chance. You had texted me and I responded with something so weird and I immediately regretted it.

I remember the time I finally looked at you differently, I had gone up to Nick and said "Why is he kinda fine." The only reason I started noticing you is because you texted me asking me for the score of the football game. After all, I would go to all of them. You were on the football team. I didn't really know that until we actually started dating. I started to ask myself "Who was this guy," only because you texted me and would play football with my friends. I started putting myself near you as much as I could. I told one of your close friends to help set me up with you, obviously, I knew he was going to be no help. It was whatever though because You started to put yourself near me too. I was so glad that my plan worked. You would walk with me to our friends who were dating at the time, I feel so sad that they didn't work out. After, we spent so much time together and really talked face to face I think that's when I really fell for you.

A month later, I told you I liked you even though you already knew and you replied in the driest way. I was so taken aback. Later on, I asked you if you liked me back, you were so goofy when you told me. I have never heard a cornier way to tell someone you like them, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't, I do, (you clear your throat), anyways 21 21." I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. Literally, 3 days go by and my guy best friend/therapist told you to just ask me out already. You end up asking me out, at 12:38 am on January 1st. I hated the fact that I had to have someone tell you to finally ask me out or else we would have droned on and on, going through the same thing we were going through at the time. Oh my gosh, I sound crazy remembering all these dates, I just have a good memory, and the scar it left behind.

We dated and you show me what I've been missing. You showed me what love really was. Although you could never get me gifts, you still tried. I got us the Lego heart necklaces and I'm so sad I lost mine. I gave you a necklace with my initial, so the ladies knew you were mine.

Then, you liked a story, a story of a girl that told me that you liked her story and she felt uncomfortable with you doing that because you had a girlfriend(me). I felt hurt, I mean one of our mutual friends who was a girl told you to stop because you were dating me. You still didn't, I presume because on January 22 you liked that girl's story. I didn't even know her like that. I thought you had stopped after my friend told you to stop and removed you from her spam. I forgave you though because people make mistakes. We were going so well.

Later on, I started to hate clingy people. My mom, Henry, and Cameron started flooding back. I still wasn't healed from Cameron. My parents started to fight again and my mom started to push me away again. I tried to not let it stop me. Our relationship was the longest I've ever been in. You made me feel like you actually loved me. I started to feel like you were obsessed with me because you were so clingy. I liked you being clingy to an extent, sometimes it was too much. I was sad during that time and I could feel myself drowning. Swim is where I didn't feel like that.

My parents stopped fighting in the meantime because my dad got sick again. It was worse this time and I knew that. He called me from the hospital telling me he might get released that day. It was a lie. He didn't know he had a heart attack. I did. Health careers hasn't taught me as much as watching my dad almost die in front of me multiple times. I've seen him throw up on himself from having either low or high blood pressure and sugar. I learned how to assess these situations with a calm attitude even though I was stressed out inside. I learned the signs of him getting sick and when he's going back to being sick. I had never felt so low in my life. I remember blocking my dad during that time because I couldn't bear to listen to how he sounded every time he was in the hospital. Every time I call him I end up crying afterwards because I hold in my tears for so long. My mom begs me to call him because she knows I'll regret not talking to him one last time. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my dad, I skate to food places because he's hungry for some fast food. He tried to push us all away with anger, and I did the same as well. I couldn't live with the fact he was most likely going to die. He has always been dying, this time it was just worse.