Phases?

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I went through a phase after all of this. I went boy crazy after Henry. I always go boy crazy after a breakup. I liked a number of boys at the same time. The reason for that was, I was afraid of being alone. I was alone for most of my childhood. My brother was born when I was 5. When he was born, my parents attention shifted from me to him. So, I learned to raise myself while my parents were busy with my brother. Now, I was a smart kid. I was very self sufficient. I knew how to look after myself. I still do.

Growing up I felt alone, all I really had was adult friends that I made because my dad owned a store. He owned a computer repair, refurbish, and resale store. It was called "CyberZone". Later he turned it into a T-Mobile store. I would stay in the backroom, his new hires soon found out I just sat there all the time, and they made friends with me because I seemed lonely. I would be back there for hours on end in both stores. I would watch him repair computers and phones. He was very techy at the time. I learned how to build, use, and troubleshoot computers when I was 3 years old. I knew how to spell on the keyboard. I would watch Betty Crocker videos of them baking "Howdini.com.". They knew they could leave me alone in the back and I could entertain myself.

Oh, how I learned how to entertain myself.

Those boys did not deserve to be my entertainment. So many guys had a crush on me because of how I used to look. WOWZA! I was worse looking than what I look like today. That glow-up hit. The boys who I used for attention don't know that I did because it was the same both ways. The ones that knew, didn't, because I didn't use someone for attention for no reason. In a way what goes around comes around. I played their little game. I wish I could use emojis to show you guys how each sentence is supposed to be delivered. I'm literally over this.

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