I was at my lowest after silas. Covid changed me, and not for the better. I went through a Draco Malfoy era during this time. I was so desperate for someone's attention. I was home every day. I got fat. My mom didn't make it any better. Neither did my dad. "You look so fat now jade," "You could live 2 weeks without eating with all that fat on you. My dad would always tell me this ever since I was 7. Hold on Dad, aren't you 300 pounds? I hated how I looked. I became borderline anorexic when I was in 6th grade. Covid made all that go away. I just couldn't stop eating now. I binged so much to the point I was never hungry. I was 170 pounds at 5'0''. This wasn't a healthy weight at all. I put on so much weight that it ruined my mental health. In 9th grade, I was getting fatter when I was pushing 180.
I had crushes on guys and one girl. This was the period where I needed a woman's love where I found a girl that showed me attention and it made me start liking her. My mom didn't show me a whole lot of love during this time when I felt the need to be seen by a girl or a woman. I don't feel that way about girls anymore. I joined swim and it made me lose so much weight. I went from 170 to 130 nearing 120. I had never been more athletic than I was right at that time. I was so happy. I felt a surge of confidence. I started to stop wearing my mask to cover my face. I had never felt so happy in my life. It felt like a part of me was missing though. I felt so alone. I had the need to have someone to be with.
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Romance?
NonfiksiMy biggest trauma dump ever. There are some snippets of poetry in here called poetry breaks to let you relax for a bit and recollect on what you just read. It gives you a break from the drama henceforth why it is called a break lol. I hope you guys...
