Romance?

Evan.

July 31, 2023 - September 12, 2023

Evan.

What were we, is the question everyone has been asking. You were my first boyfriend I introduced to my mom and she let me date even though she told me I couldn't until I turned 18. She's starting to let me date now because she knows how you were during our relationship and just wants me to be happy with someone who won't yell at me like you did.

We met through our mutual friends because we both skated. It was the last day of sophomore year and I knew of you because one of my friends posted you and you seemed attractive. So they invited you to our little hang-out because we basically invited most of your friend group. We skate around and I grab your attention. You want to talk to me. We all ended up going to Dennys after and because you didn't bring money, I paid for you. You were talking to a girl after this and you forgot about me. Later on in summer school, your friends tell you to talk to me because they think we would look good together. I got wrapped up in all of it. I started liking you too.

Although I was still talking to Anthony, I cut him off to be with you. He went ballistic, and when I tell you ballistic I am not joking. He would spam me, and call me, and he slept outside my house for the 3 hours I mentioned earlier. Oh, how I wish I knew what he was going through. Anyways, you were a kind guy, you gave me everything you could, and you bought me food and flowers. I didn't care for the things you got me. You seemed to be so emotionally unavailable. When I would vent, you would stay silent. That's not what I needed, but at least you listened to what I had to say. You would also talk about your ex a lot. I never really did but I guess it was fine with me for the most part.

I wanted to get out of our little thing before it even started, then we kissed, and after that, it was more than that. I felt obligated to stay. The fact is you hadn't even asked me out yet after all that.

It eventually becomes July 31st of 2023 We're on call late at night and you said you want to post me for National Girlfriend's Day, I tell you we're not dating yet. I stay silent for a bit to see if you realize. You never did, even before this day when I would drop hints. I basically forced you to ask me to be your Girlfriend. That was the day I fell out of love with you slowly. I had to tell you to ask me out. How was I gonna be with someone who couldn't even pick up his pants to ask me to be his girlfriend?

We started to fight. This was our argumentative phase, you would sometimes yell at me. Oh, how I hate being yelled at. It brings back that trauma of being yelled at. Should an argumentative phase even happen? Anyway, after a big fight, I broke up with you. 3 days later we wanted to get back together. What was I thinking? Your friends already hated me for breaking up with you. It struck me odd that you wouldn't dap me up because your ex used to. Like do you think of me like her? Am I her? I just couldn't.

So later one night I tell you I did something you hate that I did. You start yelling at me. I couldn't take it. You never would ever see my side. You would get mad then when I tell you mine and how you always overlooked things, you would apologize when you realized you were wrong. This eventful night was the night of the Homecoming dance. You were going to buy my ticket but I didn't want to go because I just didn't at first. Then I did because I wanted to help my friend stay away from her ex. I rethought about going again because she was friends with Anthony and you didn't want me to talk to him whatsoever. I ended up going and things happened. Later that night you sent a lengthy paragraph on how I was a bad person because I ended up going to the dance even though I told you the reason why I was going to beforehand.

You never stood back from a situation and thought about it. That's why I cut you off for good. The end of us is a good thing where we can grow from where we are as people and move on to better people because I do know we were wrong for each other, It was just both the wrong and right time. You remind me of the songs "From The Start" by Laufey and "Riptide" by Vance Joy.

Despite our chapter in my story coming to a close, I like being your friend because you truly do care for me, but I feel I can't really have. It feels like I'm using you and I do not want to feel that way. I like how our chapter was. Sweet, messy, but overall closer than most relationships I have been in. I love your family, mostly because they were so nice to me, especially your little sister (I hope she loves her toy lol). You will do better than me and I am sure of it. I was not the best person you could've been with and I hope you find happiness of your own, if not in someone but in yourself. All I want to say is don't change yourself to fit others, be who you are because you are such an amazing person and I wasn't grateful for that (because I hated how you got mad at me and didn't think). I really did love you and meant it when I said it. I did want it to work afterwards but we were just not the correct people for this.

I liked how goofy you were and how you treated me. You really spoiled me more than you should've, which was not at all because I feel like it made you feel taken advantage of. Please treat the girl you are currently talking to better than me. Think before you act. I wish to see you guys together in the future and I mean it. I have moved on from you and now that you have moved on from me to someone else, it makes me feel more comfortable when I want to be with someone else. This is me being sincere and honest because in this book is nothing but my truth.
We moved way too fast, too soon. I'm glad I was some of your firsts and you were some of mine, with someone who was kind and not egotistical about it.

Although what I want to say is weird is, that you were with your ex whom I mentioned earlier, later on maybe a month you started talking to a girl, and you left her because she still liked her ex. That very week you cut things off with her you move on to me. A month after we cut things off maybe a little before you start talking to the girl you're talking to currently. I'm very supportive but don't mess this up with her. 

It's just that on Nov. 4th you asked me if I wanted you to talk to me as a Boyfriend or a friend. Little did I know you were most likely talking to her at the same time, maybe a bit later. All I know is Nov. 7th you were texting her. It's just weird how you go from girl to girl so quickly. That's probably why I felt like you still liked your ex because you didn't give yourself time to heal. I hope the girl you're talking to doesn't realize this is about you and rethink everything because she seems to really like you. DO NOT MESS THIS UP!