Romance?

Cameron.

July 9, 2022 - September 25, 2022.

Cameron.

You met me at my best self. Someone who I had been working on for 2 years after so many failed relationships. I had never been happier before you kissed me. The kiss changed my outlook on you, I started to feel dread when we kissed. It changed my confidence in myself. I had had a crush on you all of freshman year.

When you broke up with that girl you with I didn't notice because I liked someone else at the time. It was when our mutual friend made us start hanging out that I started developing a crush on you.

June 26th of 2022, we had hung out outside my house with our mutual friend and that's when I started developing my crush on you again.

On June 28th of 2022, we were skating around with the same mutual friend. I let you ride my board and you accidentally got it run over and it snapped in half, that's the day you said you started liking me.

On July 2nd of 2022, you had invited me to go swim before we went to the movies with a group of friends to see the Minion movie. We had sat next to each other and you kept looking at me and trying to talk to me. That's when I realized you had feelings for me, I was kind of still oblivious though because I couldn't believe it. When we went to IHOP and we started fighting over the silverware, you drank out of my drink, and you ate some of my food. That's when I actually realized you liked me back. I became quiet for a bit because I was thinking and came to a realization, I continued to be quiet.

On July 9th of 2022, we went to a party. Things happened when I started to feel my social battery drain (you seemed to not pay attention to me like you did before). I sat up on top of the waterslide away from everyone so I could recharge. You sat up there with me and made me feel more comfortable. One of our friends came up and pushed us together and told us he would leave us alone to kiss. I nearly crapped myself. No way he just said that out loud. It didn't matter anyway. You started building up to ask me, "What are you looking at?" I would respond by saying my croc because it was in the middle of the yard and then the last time you asked me, after my same response you told me to look at you. I knew what you were doing, and it was sweet in the moment. Eventually, you asked me if I wanted to kiss because our friend had mentioned it. I was stressing out so badly. I had never had my first kiss and I was 15. I wanted to kiss you but I was so scared. We did end up kissing. From then on we were dating I presume.

I would sneak out to see you and we would make out outside my house because we lived so close. It was going so well. Then you started distancing yourself from me, not texting as much. It's not like you did text me a lot anyway. You would lag a minimum of 3 minutes to 3 hours per message. That's when I was so clingy, but I became used to someone who wasn't clingy. I became friends with all your friends in order for us to hang out at lunch. I asked if we could hang out during lunch alone and you said no because you loved playing football. Oh how much that was a lie. You just didn't want anyone to know. You didn't even post me for National Girlfriend's Day. That wasn't even the first time you tried to keep me a secret. You didn't even tell your best friend who was our mutual best friend that we were together. I literally told him 2 weeks later because you didn't have the guts to talk about me. I later learned when our friends told your friends we kissed at that one party you said they were lying.

One day at the end of September, I had went to my best friend's quince and you went to one you were a chambelan in. Oh how bad it was to leave you alone there. You had invited your ex and danced with her while we were still together. You wanted to get back together with her and you didn't even tell me. You just left saying you had to work on yourself. What was wrong with you? I would've understood that you still liked her and wanted to be with her again. You didn't tell me anything. Well, you did in a way. You had told me your type and fully explained her one of the nights that we were together outside my house. I had to become a detective to figure out the real reason why you left. The dots became connected all at once. You even lied straight to my face and had the audacity to ask if I was going to cry. The reality was I had shut off all my negative emotions so I would feel numb about you. You guys had history and who was I to get in the way of that?

It was so hard to get over you. It took almost a year. Not quite but maybe 9 months. Oh, how you hurt me to the point where I was able to not feel a thing. I don't know why you stayed friends with me. It made it harder to get over you. Although I don't hate the girl you left me for, I hate you for doing such a thing to me. I'm glad you left though. I would cry every week because I knew eventually you would leave me for someone. If not the original girl I would have been your ex who you are now with. You had ruined my mental health and getting over you was the worst time of my life. It was hard to move on but I eventually did. I'm glad you two are happy together, so you didn't have to stay with me, making me feel like trash.

Even if we did work out, I wouldn't have. I have so much to say but I don't know how to explain how you made me feel because I've grown since then and moved on from it. How crazy this all sounds that I actually liked a person who treated me this way. You remind me of the song "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron. Especially these lyrics "Take me back to the night we met," I would want to go back to the night we kissed to prevent all of this. That's just me though. We would've been great friends.