To be your ONLY option (Namkook)

Next Morning

2017 (part 2)

Namjoon woke up to a searing headache. Opening his eyes, a naked body came in to his vision which he was holding tightly. Blinking few times he tried to get rid of the sleep still latched on his eyes and turned the body to find it was his boyfriend. The whole event from last night started popping up in the back of his head gradually.

The swollen lips that were bitten hard, the purple marks on the neck that were sucked on too hard, the reddish spots all over the chest, the bruises over the belly region that still had some teeth marks on them, the pale face that had clear traces of exhaustion- all created a mixed feeling of guilt and anger in Namjoon. The horror started to kick in when he removed the blanket to find patches of blood dried up on the inner thighs which indicates what might have happened to his boyfriend.

The cozy dreamland was disrupted by a moment of coldness that woke Jungkook up from his slumber. With squinted eyes, he identified the source of cold feeling. It was the blanket that was removed from his body by a man staring at him with red eyes and expressionless face. He immediately sat up trying to pull the blanket over his exposed body when Namjoon stood up from the bed grabbing his boxers that was lying on the edge of the bed.

Hiding his face in his hands, he sat on the nearby couch chair. The body language was only showcasing shame and remorse which scared the boy sitting on the bed that his boyfriend might feel disgusted to have sexual intercourse with him. But he thought he would not stop him in order to not let him go ever again.

  "Joon." A soft voice broke the silence of the room.
"I don't know what to say, Kook!" A reply came from a person who was still hiding his face in his palms.
"Are you disgusted with me?" The soft voice was broken now which made the other person lift his head up and rush to the bed sitting face to face.
"I can never be disgusted with you Jungkook!" Saying this, he lowered his head and continued.
"I am ashamed of myself, I'm disgusted with myself for being such a monster. I did that to you! I hurt you so badly, Kookie! I don't know if I am in any position to ask for your forgiveness. I was so drunk and out of sense!"

If you don't speak up now, he will think he has done a mistake and never touch you again!
Then he will move on with somebody else!
You will let that happen?
Will you?

"No Joon! You didn't hurt me, I had a good time." Jungkook's insecurities took over him to a level where he has lost the ability to understand how much care and concern his partner holds for him. He is only worried about the negative consequences of expressing his actual pain.

Namjoon held his boyfriend's hands and kissed on the knuckles. Then he lifted him up and placed on his lap with blanket still covering Jungkook's body whose lips were captured in a soft kiss full of care. Jungkook melted in that kiss leaning towards his boyfriend. They pulled away after sometime.

"I should have taken care of you last night. I will never leave you like this, and I will only touch you if you give me the consent to."
"You have my consent, Joon. You are my boyfriend, I will be more than happy to be with you so close."
"The bruises and the dried blood say I went too rough on you, Kookie. That is not okay!"
"I liked it rough, Joon."
"Kookie, I want you to be honest with me and tell me whenever I'm crossing the line."
"I will be, Joon. Just don't leave my side."

Jungkook closed his eyes and hugged Namjoon to feel the love he is craving for. He is happy to convince Namjoon that they can continue their intimate relationship however the elder likes. On the other hand, Namjoon slowly felt the guilt driven away as Jungkook assured him of his consent and pleasure.

"I can never leave you, Kookie! I will be there by your side, no matter what comes in our way. And I will try to be careful next time."
Jungkook's happiness of Namjoon's promises was intertwined with the fright of how he would hide his true self when Namjoon would be closer to him again like last night. At the moment, he thought of just being happy about the first one.