The Magic Within You

December 5th

Louis hates everything. The emotional high after yesterday has given way to a deep sadness that clenches Louis' stomach, his heart as well and he has the feeling that it no longer beats in time. Without his angel, he is simply not whole and the chances are low that Harry will ever be his in the first place.

He doesn't care if it's dramatic to anyone or if it's even necessary to shed tears over it. Self-doubt gnaws at him, whether he's got it all wrong or he's just not good enough for a man like Harry.

Probably - because otherwise Harry would surely have sent him the photo and written to him, right?

Louis' message has been read but hasn't been answered since yesterday and every time he looks at his mobile phone he could dig even deeper into his misery.

Presumably Louis already crossed a line yesterday with the stupid cookies, wanted too much and too quickly. Or maybe it's just that Louis stares stupidly every time at Harry and literally throws himself at him. Or maybe Harry just finds it unattractive that he has so many siblings? Although then he doesn't want Harry anyway, because nothing beats his family.

With a desperately raging heart and too loud steps, he stomps into the bathroom, doesn't care much about his looks and just freshens up, listlessly throws himself in his his warmest sweater back in the bedroom, the hood of which he pulls over his head and then down to meet with his family like every morning for breakfast.

He's the last one at the table, like every morning, and getting worried looks because of his probably miserable appearance.

"Boo, are you okay? And can you please take off the hood?" his mother greets him.

"Good morning, no, I'm not feeling well. No, I don't want to talk about it and no, I'm not taking it off. I need it as a comfort. And one more thing, please don't expect any conversations from me this morning," Louis hisses in response.

Jay's eyes widen at the sound of her son, he's never spoken to them like that. And Louis has a bit of a guilty conscience but he just isn't able to be social in any way today. The love of his life ignored him and he didn't even get a chance to hold his hand, let alone kiss his pink lips. Louis has been betrayed by fate and so he angrily grabs his plate and goes straight to the buffet.

Lost in his heartache he throws things onto his plate without really looking and back at the table he pulls back the chair too loudly so that the barrel squeaks on the floor. He feels his family's eyes on him, as do a few of the other guests, and pulls his hood a little further over his face.

In accordance with his wishes, nobody actually speaks to him, not even the little ones, who probably also know how to read Louis's dismissive posture. Nevertheless, his family is in a good mood and, as always, at least 3 conversations are taking place across the table at the same time. It's loud and all are in a happy mood, plans are being made for the day while Louis's heart is crumbling quietly in his chest.

The sliced kiwi on his plate reminds him of Harry's green eyes, the pink juice in his glass on Harry's lips and Louis can't swallow a bite.

Can you die from a broken heart without ever having a relationship with him?

At least that's how it feels to Louis. He can no longer stand the loud background noise of the breakfast room or the many people around him. He just wants to bury himself in his bed and not get out of it today. He leaves his breakfast untouched as he practically jumps up from his chair and sprints out of the dining room.

Impatiently, he presses the elevator button many times until it finally opens in front of him. There are already two people in there and Louis looks down, his eyes already filled with tears just waiting to be allowed to run down his cheeks unhindered.