The Magic Within You

December 15th

9 hours and 28 minutes have already passed since he said goodbye to Harry.

As soon as they arrived last night in Doncaster, Louis moved into his old room in Jay's house and hasn't come out since.

He had spoken to Harry on the phone for three hours until he fell asleep and the soft snoring and deep breathing only made him miss him even more. The last few nights he held Harry in his arms while he slept or was held himself. Louis was with him. And without his boyfriend's chatter and just the (far too sweet) sounds of his sleep, the longing only grew stronger. Louis wouldn't have thought that this was even possible.

But here he is - hours later, still awake, almost half past one in the night and only the moon shining through the window is witness to Louis' tears quietly sinking into his pillow without him ever having the heart to end the call.

Frustrated, Louis rolls from side to side, repeatedly wiping his tears from his eyes and cheeks, only for them to be wet again the next moment. Louis would really like to switch off this longing that literally eats through every cell of his body, he doesn't want to lie here like a heap of misery, he wants to go back to Harry. Nothing is as it was. There is only one life before and after Harry and while Louis chews his lower lip in stress, he tries to figure out how he can juggle everything in this new life and being deeply in love. Near Harry and not so far away. Of course, Louis knows that the first infatuation will eventually pass and both of them will certainly get used to not seeing each other for several days, maybe even weeks, so that they will eventually fall into a routine. But does he want that? A long-distance relationship is not what he desires and certainly not with the love of his life.

Sighing, Louis sits up and decides to do the first useful thing since his return. If he can't get any sleep, he can at least finally empty out his suitcase and wash his dirty laundry first thing tomorrow. His mother would probably have a crisis if he started doing it in the middle of the night right now. And she's already a little annoyed that Louis is completely taken in by Harry even without him at his side. Although he of course knows she's happy for him, he's seen the looks she's given him and Harry over the shared dinners together.

Louis has given up feeling guilty about not being as present during the family vacation as he had initially planned. He can't help it that he feels so strongly for Harry and that it's literally tearing his heart to pieces so that he hasn't left his childhood room wallowing in self-pity. When he wanted to go to the toilet last night, he saw a tray of food in front of his room and a small note from his mother.

I know that you are suffering from the separation and are closing yourself off from us. But we are your family and we could comfort you... I'll expect you in our midst tomorrow morning, you'll be excused for tonight. I love you, mum x

Of course, Louis also shed a few tears over his mothers note while he rushed across the hallway. He hasn't really done anything but cry since they left Winterhollow and Louis hates it. You shouldn't feel like that in the first phase of falling in love, but rather spend your time with your partner smooching wildly and beaming with joy. Of course, Louis' dramatic ass comes out - as if he didn't know that - but that's just how he is.

Louis carefully places his phone on the bed next to him, making sure the call is still active and on speaker, and smiles when Harry mumbles something quietly in his sleep.

As quietly as possible so as not to make too many noises that could wake up his angel, he just pads around the room in the light of his little bed lamp and kneels down in front of his suitcase. Bit by bit, he quietly unzips the zipper, pausing every now and then to listen if Harry is still sleeping peacefully many, many kilometres away, and finally opens it.