I Fucked Up
1992
Adina's POV
It's been a while and things are going great, my mom's fully recovered and back at working.
Deshaun had told me that his mother's doctor said that her cancer spread rate is slowing down... so that's good.
And Angelo finally asked me out, finally.
And did yall know this boy can cook?!
He's the absolute sweetest.. and my age. So I'd rather that, right?
Right...
Anyways...Marshall and I have been fine... things are actually really really good. Sometimes it kinda feels like the kiss never happened... but I still think about it a lot when I'm alone, it'll keep me up for hours.. I really shouldn't.
Oh! And my dad is doing great in rehab, he's been calling us frequently and these past 3 weeks,...he genuinely seems happy... and he's actually putting in effort to rekindle his relationship with my mom and I.
He's apologized for everything and he continues to almost everytime we call.... And he's funny and hes actually interested in what I've done that day. And I've even sang to him on call a couple times... this is the father that I've wanted back since I was 9. Before he told me he hated my singing, before he hit me, before he hit my mother, before he abused us verbally and physically...Before he neglected me.
Everything went into a shit show when I was around that age and I'm not sure why. I don't know. But i hated it. I hated every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month, and every fucking agonizing year of that shit.
It feels weird that he had put me and my mother through so much physical and emotional trauma and now he calls us everyday... with that fatherly voice. The softer one, the one I've been missing, the one that vanished from him years ago. I'm so used to him sounding arrogant, rude, and demanding. But all we've gotten from him was love these last few weeks. I just hope it's the same when he comes back home after he fully gets clean.
Anyway, I called Angelo over so we can kick it for a minute, it's just hitting 9PM so it's dark outside.
Hearing a soft knock on the front door, I slowly get out of my bed, making my way to the door. I have to be quiet, ion really wanna wake my mom... I mean it isn't a secret that Angelo is coming here.. we aren't gonna do anything.. I just wanna chop it up with my new boyfriend.
I open the door, letting him in.
"Hey, Dina." He wraps his arm around my waist, giving me a side hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey, Angelo." I blush.
"Is ya mama asleep?" He puts his hands back into the pockets of his coat as I close the door.
"Yea she is, so you gotta be quiet. Cmon." I motion him to my bedroom.
"What you been up to, baby?" He wraps his arms around me from behind as we walk into my room.
I cringe when he says "baby"...
"Nothin' just waitin on you." I giggle, shutting the door quietly before I turn around.
"You pretty as shit, you know that right?"
His words only remind me of Marshall's.
Angelos lips make their way to mine and I let it happen.
I let him kiss me but the kiss doesn't feel the same.
I don't feel the things that I felt with Marshall. He doesn't kiss me as good.
