Feel bad
1995
Marshall's POV
Stopping a few cars away from Adina's dad's house, Adina immediately tried getting out of the car.
"Adina, wait." I speak, stopping her actions.
"What, Marshall?" Her sleepy voice comes through.
"I'm sorry, okay?... And- and please just know, not a damn thing is goin' on between me and Kim. I just needed a place to stay. Okay?"
"...Okay." She seems absolutely uninterested and like she doesn't even care anymore.
"Baby, I lov-" By the time I tried sayin that she had already slammed the car door in my face, walking to her front door and sneaking in like she already does. But this time no one said I love you—at least I ain't get to all the way—this time, she didn't kiss me, this time she didn't have that blushy smile on her face like she always does when I drop her off... none of that...Zero of it.
This shit leaves me feelin' so uneasy... and unsure of what the fuck to do next...I sat in the car for another good 15 minutes just tryna think about how I can make this left go right... so much damn shit happened today... Adina's day started off fine...my day started off fine...I honestly can't speak on Deshaun's half...he seemed like he had been sippin all day... fuck I forgot about Shaun how could I forget about him... I need to go back over there and check on him...
I also forgot to let Adina know what happened with mama P... but with all that just went on right now...ion even wanna tell her but I need to... shit.
Taking in a deep breath, I start the car again before making my way back to Deshaun's... todays been a long fuckin' day...
I'm still so fuckin' devastated about what the hell happened to Adina...and then she completely changes the subject and goes on about Kim??! ...I'm sure a lot of shit was just runnin' through her head and she was havin' a lot of emotions... I understand.. And I feel like an asshole. I should have just told her from the get go that I was staying with Kim... but I know she'd react like that... maybe if I had told her sooner she wouldn't have.
Fuck, yo..
The whole ride back to Deshaun's house I was barely even payin any attention to the road...I mean I was but my thoughts was lingering, thinkin' about Adina and whether or not what I thought was a white lie may have jeopardized our entire relationship. Never did I want that.
A couple of times, I thought back and asked myself why Angelo might have told Adina about him seeing me going into some 'blonde headed white girls house' while Adina was going through what she was going though... maybe it just slipped out or somethin'...but sayin' something like that definitely has a time and place.. ion think that was the time. But I don't know. Whatever.
I park into Deshaun's driveway, turning off my car and getting out before I make my way to the front door.
The door is unlocked...I didn't think I'd be away for that long so I didn't take Deshaun's keys with me to lock the door or nothin'.
I open the door before immediately goin' to Deshaun's room to see that he's still asleep and he seems alright. He hasn't take the water or aspirin so I'm guessing he hasn't woken up since I woke up him before I left.
I think imma crash here on the couch tonight... just to keep Deshaun some company. Ion want him to be alone all night and day while he's feelin' the way he's feelin'.
Plus...I honestly don't wanna go back to Kim's right now...I know she gon' give me a ton of shit for bein' out so long and not tellin' her... even though me and the bitch ain't even together, yo.
So ion even wanna deal wit that....all of this shit on my mind... all that happened today. To everyone, not just me. I just wanna go to bed, yo.
I grab another blanket from the extra closet down the hall before kicking my shoes off.
I unfold my blanket, laying down on the couch trying to get comfortable, trying my hardest to go to bed.
It's hard tryna sleep peacefully knowin' that Adina is upset with me. It always has been, and it's weird...not anymore, she's my fuckin' girlfriend but I mean before that... when I'd do somethin asshole-ish when we wasn't even datin', that shit would still have me up all night sometimes for some reason.
About 30 minutes of relentless tossing and turning continues on and on, driving me absolutely insane.
I think maybe I should just call Adina... I could at least try.. I really fuckin' want to... cause ..we call eachother every single night before we go to bed.
Debating, debating, debating, I eventually rip the covers off of me as I get up from the couch, heading towards the dinning room where the telephone is.
I take it out of the cradle, dialing her number before I put it up to my ear letting the ringing noise fill it.
The more it rings the more I realize this girl ain't finna answer the phone. But I let it go I until it goes to voicemail.
Sighing, I put the phone back into the cradle before I go back to the couch, lying down. Hoping that me and Adina gon' be alright.
I mean...I'm sure we will. Just cause she didn't answer the damn phone doesn't mean we won't. I'm just all in my head about it...Adina had a long day she's probably already asleep... and I should be too.
