The Cultmaster

Chapter 10: Driving through Georgetown

The congressman's attention was caught like a pirate's hook, or a hook on a fish. Jacob had finally received the opportunity to have a full conversation with the man, but he almost regretted bringing it up in the first place.
"The...common good? Is that, like, something they teach you in preschool? Like sharing and things like that? There's a common good?"
"No," responded Jacob with a moral gravity to his voice, "it's deeper than that. They taught it to us in law school. Basically, there's a duty that we all have, as human beings part of the social contract, to make society the best possible. Now, different philosophers have different ideas as to how to achieve this, hence the muddledness of it all. Aristotle wrote in the Politics that the best way for the common good to be achieved is through everybody contributing their fair share to make the world a better place. In the Ethics, must read by the way, he said that virtue is the only way for society to become happy. If everyone acts virtuous, happiness can be reached, which is what we call 'the end'. Thus, we come to the greatest happiness principle by Mill: the greatest happiness can, in fact, be achieved for the greatest number, and society as a whole benefits." Even if Jacob knew how unrealistically idealistic this ideology sounded, he still prided himself on being an expert in these matters, as well as being proud of demonstrating his wisdom to a high ranking government officer such as Grantham. But it only flew right over his head.
"Uh-huh," he responded, half-interested and chugging a bottle of wine, "but I'm not quite sure I agree with this little theory of yours."
"Why's that?" Jacob asked, even though he had debated many times at law school with others about the flaws in Politics and Ethics.
"Well, what exactly is the common good? Because not everyone agrees on what the best thing is for society."
"Elaborate..."
"Well, let's say Vinny from the Upper West Side works at the grocery store down the street," Grantham responded, "and let's say that he's super obese, and he likes ice cream a lot, even though it's bad for him..."
"I see," responded Jacob, confused as to why Grantham would use an example such as this.
"So Vinny lobbies his congressman, also known as me, to write and sponsor legislation requiring all American grocery stores to be stocked to the max with mint chocolate. Now, obviously, that's not within our power, but Vinny asks for this, because, well, everyone screams for ice cream. Vinny thinks ice cream is the best thing for society because it'll contribute to the greatest happiness for the greatest amount of people, including himself, but what he doesn't realize is that he's only contributing to making society fat and unhealthy like him. Therefore, Vinny is just a selfish bitch who only looks out for himself."
Jacob's mind was numbed by this example, as he had no words in response to Grantham's extreme storytelling. Meanwhile, everyone else at the table was lighting up and smoke was intoxicating the air around them.
"These people don't know when the right time to vape is and isn't," Grantham griped, and turned to Jacob.
"Say, bud, what do you say we get out of here after dinner and take a drive around town? My treat." Jacob was taken aback by this question, but was too enraptured in the allure of being around a man like Grantham.
"I don't know if Chester would like that," Jacob responded unsure.
"Why? Is he like, your dad, or something?" Jacob suddenly became sensitive at the mention of the word 'dad'.
"He might as well be."
"Jacob, how old are you?" Grantham asked.
"29, this July."
"Right, so you're a consenting adult. You can do whatever you want. You and I could have a good time together," Grantham responded, to Jacob's discomfort.
"Relax! It's not like that! I'm not trying to have anything...physical with you, although I wouldn't mind it." Grantham then stared deeply into Jacob's brown Anglo eyes, as if he were trying to make good on his statement, but Jacob felt very uncomfortable, even more so.
"I'm joking, of course!" and then there was a long pause. "But seriously, though, do you actually want to come with me? It's not unvirtuous, or it wouldn't be unless Chester was God, and you'll still be contributing to your own happiness without hurting others. So, what do you say?" Jacob agreed, believing that becoming closer to Grantham would benefit him greatly if he ever wanted to enter politics himself, perhaps even take over Chester's seat after he retired. He chose to wait until the 1990 Census so that the district lines could be redrawn to accommodate his home. After they had dinner, Jacob taking the salmon that Schwepke had recommended, he simply told Chester that he was heading out, and Chester said he would pay. Chuck probably made some poorly timed vulgar joke as he left, but Jacob ignored it, too excited to finally be considered important enough to accompany Grantham on a drive through the city.
Grantham took out a gigantic brick phone and began to call Burt to bring his bebe to the front, all the while Jacob looked astonished at the sheer size of the object, having never seen a cell phone in person before, only heard of it and seen pictures in magazines of the new invention. He must be rich too, thought Jacob, which meant endorsements if he ever ran for office himself. But it seemed unlikely, at least at the moment. Eventually, Burt pulled the car around, a spotless, silver 1987 Mercedes Benz E-Class limousine with whitewashed wheels and an upstanding logo on the front. Jacob had not grown up wealthy, so seeing this amount of luxury all in one place was a new experience for him.
"This will be such a fun drive," said Burt excitedly, "I've got all this cool stuff planned! We can go over to the Lincoln Monument, then the obelisk, and then-"
"Burt, you're not invited. Go back to the apartment," Grantham responded.
"Which one?" Burt responded, dumbfounded and sad at the same time.
"Which one?"
"The one in Kalorama, obviously! What are you, fucking stupid, or something?" Jacob was both shocked at Grantham's treatment of Burt and also felt bad for Burt, but was more astonished at the fact that Grantham owned multiple apartments in the same city.
"Besides," Grantham continued, to Burt's immense visible fear, "I'm sure that Jacob here doesn't want to see those boring historical sites. Right, Jacob?" Jacob would have loved to see historical sites more than anything, for he was passionate about history and was considered a history buff by all his friends when he was a teenager. Still, he obliged to Grantham's wishes.
"I'm so sorry," said the kind young man to Burt as he walked to the back.
"It's okay," Burt responded, "I'm used to it. But you have fun," as he tried to crack a smile. But Jacob could tell he was hurt.
"I don't have to go. It's not fair," Jacob said, with tears almost welling up in his eyes as buildup from all the night's events.
"Don't sacrifice your happiness for me. Go." Jacob hugged Burt out of consolation, whispering "It'll be better," in his ear, before Grantham called out to him with "Jacob, leave that bitch alone. He's not worth it." As Jacob sat in the back, he could not help but feel as though his heart was broken somehow, even if it was not his own that was broken by Grantham. He watched silently as Burt walked down the street, alone, without an ounce of happiness due to one man's selfishness. As they passed him on the street, Jacob noticed Burt turn towards the car and face him with a smile as tears washed his face.