I Need You

☆

"Lance?"

it was really him, what does he want from me know?

he pulled me into a hug 

his hand was patting my back 

"I don't need you to explain for me what is it about, just take your time and calm down, he is not here anymore"

was he referring at Charles?

I think so 

his heart is beating very fast 

it's been so long since he hugged me the last time 

I should been scared that I am alone with him 

but I actually feel safe and calm 

is it a mistake that I am just staying here in his arms while no one knows that we are here?

what happened to him?

after I calmed down I took a step back and I looked at him from head to toes 

"what happened Lance? why are we here?"

"what do you mean? I dragged you in a safe place that no one can see you cry, especially the ferrari boy"

"I know that, but why are you doing this?" I took another step back 

"because I care about you"

yeah right, bullshit 

I took another step back 

this time he noticed that I was trying to run away 

"Maya I quit drinking and drugs"  he said as a relief 

"what?" 

it sounds impossible because since the first time I know him, he was always drinking and smoking 

his dad payed a lot of moneys for the FIA to overlook the fact that he is addicted

"when?" 

"right after the incident from the bar"

he came closer to me and took my hands in his "Maya I am so sorry for all the things I did before and after we broke up, I know that you will never be able to forgive me, but I am really sorry"

he is serious?

I really want to believe him, but I am still shaking when he is around 

he saw that I was not prepared for this confess and that I am in a shock, so he took a step back from me and look me right in the eyes "I am gonna admit that everything is true next month at the meeting"

what? he really wanna do this?

"look Maya, I am gonna do it, but we both know that nothing is going to happen to me because of my dad and his money, I can't do anything about it, but believe me when I say that all this years was a hell for me too"

"what do you mean?" I asked confused 

"since the day we broke up.." he is talking about the break up.. in that night he raped me, he was drunk and high, I never saw him like that, we had good memories together, most of them at the begining of the relationship, the first year was very beautiful, but then he started to drink a lot more and started to do drugs. at one point we were arguing every time something happen, sometimes he slapped  me, the first time he slapped me he started crying next to me while I was in shock, he didn't do it anymore, buuut then he made some new friends that was a very bad influence to him, because he started to take some really bad drugs. the drugs made him a monster, when he was in the mood he even punched me or beat the shit out of me, and because I loved him, I always hide my bruises and put a lot of make up on, but sometimes I was that bad that I even stopped walking out of the house. he promised me that he is gonna stop when I told him that I want to break up with him, and I believed him. for a month he stopped drinking in front of me, but I knew that he was still drinking out of the house, and he stopped beating me, I thought that he changed, but he doesn't. one night we had a fight about a boy I was talking to in a club, it was a barman, I was buying some drinks for us, but Lance didn't believed me, he was very drunk and he also smoke something very strong, the fight turned into domething very bad.. he raped me. the next morning I took my things and moved back with my family, I wrote him a message were I explained him why we cant be together anymore'

".. I started drinking even more, I couldn't believe what I did to you and I never forgave myself about it, I went into depression, I still am, but I am trying to change. I am really trying to get you back Maya, I miss being with you"

he is waiting the impossible 

"I still love you May"

fuck..

"I like you Lance" his face was glowing from happiness, and now i hate the fact that I need to do this 

"but I don't trust you" I can't even look him in the eyes and I hate myself for that 

"and I can't be with someone I don't trust" a tear escaped and droped on my face 

he wiped the tear away from my face with his finger 

"I understand" he said as a tear fell of his face 

I hugged him tight, maybe because I have a feeling that he is not going to open at me again like that, or maybe because I just knew that we both needed that hug very much 

"I am sorry" he said whispering while he was crying in my arms

"I know" I don't even know if he heard me because my voice cracked 

"I don't wanna hurt you anymore May"

"it's okay, I know that you really try, and I am very proud of you"

we stayed like that for another 5 minutes

it's strange to feel safe in some hands that made you cry so much 

we want to be friends, and we are going to try this, and hopped that we can make it without hurt each other anymore 

in the mean time, I still haven't talked with Charles