Lust, Desires and Love (Zhanyi)

chapter 9

Zhan and yibo were standing face to face near the beautiful man made waterfall. The sound of water was only being heard. If there wasn't any water here probably zhan could hear Yibo's fast heartbeat also.

Yibo took zhan's both hands and held them in between both of them.

"Gege so I have something really important to say to you"

"I'm all ears." Even though zhan said that but internally he was very nervous because he knew what was coming his way.

"Gege so please listen to me fully with all concentration ok. Then you can reply." Yibo said that normally somehow but internally he was so scared right now.

"Gege as you know we don't even have a label on our relationship right now. We cannot be brothers of course, about friends maybe but considering what all we have done we would call it a friends with benefits relationship. I have never told you this but i promised myself after our first night that we'll have no strings attached. It will just be a one night stand or we can continue further. You know I kept my first kiss and first time for someone i actually loved. Others approached me but I always rejected.
But with you it just felt so correct that I couldn't deny the feeling and decided to just go with it." Yibo said and started tearing up.

"Baby." Zhan said and wiped Yibo's tears while he looked down.

"Gege I never had the courage to do this because I know the outcome. Cheng xiao is my bestfriend and i always listen to her cause I guess she gives the best advice. Gege at first i liked you but how we spent the past months and how you treated me I cannot help but fall in love with you. Now don't feel bad or guilty about me cause I came fully prepared for a rejection and don't worry I'll try not to cry. You're someone really precious to me gege. Xiao zhan you're my first love and I want you to be my last. I love you. I will not force my feelings on you and don't feel guilty. But saying all of these words right now I think I finally got the weight off my shoulders. So gege don't feel guilty and wo ai ni. Didi loves you." Said yibo and he was sobbing and crying in between.

"Yibo listen to me carefully. It's not like I don't like you or anything. In fact you've been someone really great who stood by my side in the past months. I don't knw what is the feeling inside of me. But I'll try to open up to you and tell you the real reason as to why I can't trust people especially in the matter of love."

Flashback:

Zhan back then was a person focused on his studies in highschool. He never fell in love and did not want to. He spent his whole day either reading or studying. He was a topper. People used to bully him because he was an introvert and stuttered while talking to other people indicating that he lacked confidence.

He hated himself for being like that. His body was slim which made him feel like he wasn't masculine at all. Always hid and ran away from his problems. He thought of himself as a loser.

Until one day a man called Huang jingyu transferred to their highschool. He sat with zhan as his seat was the only empty one. Jingyu always tried to have convos with him but zhan wasn't confident enough as he wasn't interested also.

But as time passed zhan started opening up more and more to him. The bullying stopped because jingyu always protected him. Zhan at one point even started liking jingyu but he thought he wouldn't be gay or bi so lets not confess or else it might ruin their friendship.

Zhan never told anyone about him being bi. He thought people would judge him as if they weren't doing that already enough. But one day he decided to open up to jingyu. Both of them were only 18 at that time. He told jingyu that he was bi.

To his surprise as soon as he told this, jingyu asked zhan if he can court him. Zhan already liked him so he said yes. Jingyu put in his full effort and later they both dated. If only they would've been a straight couple they could open up to everyone and show off their love. It was so perfect that anyone would be jealous and envious of them.

Zhan kept on falling deeper and deeper. Jingyus treatment couldn't be any better. He was perfect. They were perfect.

It was going on great but then jingyus parents got a transfer to America so he had to move. Zhan and jingyu both promised that they would always talk to each other despite the time difference between both the countries.

At first it was going smoothly and they missed each other a lot like a lot. But then jingyu called lesser compared to before.

It had been 2 years of their dating and they were 20. Zhans father had some work in America so zhan requested his father so that he can visit America with him. And so he went there.

Jingyu already told him the university he was studying in. Zhan went there and searched for jingyu. He bought a bouquet of flowers for him.

He finally found jingyus building but then.......
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Guys I posted fast this time. And the flashback will continue in the chapter 10. I know this was a bit boring. But we can see how yibo literally is so brave and such a green flag that he was ready to accept anything from his gege. Gosh give me this man.
-yizhan_BJYX