A few weeks ago I went back to my therapist to pour out the heavy weight of self-hatred, guilt and betrayal I had in my heart. After listening, she asked me, "Is the cost of this learning experience (at the clinic) too expensive?" At that time, I agreed that I had been sacrificing myself too much for the clinic and for others, but didn't realize how far in debt I was till last night.
My first mental breakdown this year. I think.
I couldn't catch my breath, I was hyperventilating and absolutely hysterical. I was upset at the people around me, but mainly, upset with myself for letting myself deteriorate.
How could I? A mental health professional who can't take care of her own mental health. I felt a lot of shame in losing control of my emotions once again, but felt wedged between the desire to just let loose and regain control of myself.
I am thankful that for once, my parents could comfort me. They somehow recognized by God's grace that I haven't been myself, and forgave me for making them the collateral damage from the disaster in my own life.
I am recovering and am collecting the bits and pieces of loose change I have left to piece my life back together. My loved ones come first no matter what and I will try again.
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Broken but not Destroyed
Kısa HikayeDo you feel like the whole world is against you? Feeling as though life is such a damn pain and sometimes you just wanna bang your head on a wall or possibly just disappear? if you do, guess we're in the same boat. this is an autobiography of my l...
