A lifetime of hello's and too many goodbyes.

Official Part 5

It's official. Part 2 of 3

Dyland and EJ came over, he asked me how things went for Manny at the doctor, he's sure his nephew is a healthy boy, I told him it was hard getting Manny to go when he found out he has to go to the doctor, he said he'll get shots and it will hurt. Cece told him he'll only have to do this once, and after that he won't have to go through that again, but we found out it wouldn't be his last time going to the doctor and getting shots.

Let me start from the beginning, we had the doctor run all kinds of test on Manny, because we didn't know his family history, we'll get the test results in a few days, Manny wasn't the only one who needed more test, Cece had to take some more test too, his results will be back soon as well, bae said he's sure there's nothing wrong, he just doesn't eat right, I've noticed that he's not eating like he should, as for me I'm in good health.

Dyland said I'm always in the gym and eating good shit, other than Liz's cooking, don't tell her he said that. 

So where is Manny, with Milo no doubt, James said actually Cecil took him to get fitted for his school uniforms, they should be back soon. Manny's looking forward to going to school, I told him as just as much as I'd like to see my nephew we have to get going, we're going to fuck in the car on the Alexander grounds.

Damn Dyland I didn't need to hear that, is that all you guys do is have sex, EJ said they're still on their honeymoon, and he's sure Cece and I did it everywhere after we got married even after the honeymoon. I said that's true, but I don't need to hear about their sex life every time they come over here, Dyland said I'm a hater, anyway, tell Manny they'll come and get him tomorrow.

They hugged me and left, my phone rang I answered it, it's the pediatricians office, he said he'd like to see us tomorrow, I asked him is something wrong with Manny, he said he'll explain when we get there, don't worry it's something he can treat, I asked him what time should we come, he said he has an opening around ten- thirty, I told him we'll be there, I hung up.

Maybe it's nothing, but then again why would the doctor call me and want to see us, and I thought the test results wouldn't be back for a few days, I did start to worry, maybe Maximillion knew something about Manny, when he wished me luck with Manny. I took Milo for a walk I tried to take my mind off of what the doctor said, but he did say whatever Manny has he can treat it, so that's something.

I called Cece, I told him about the doctor wants to see us tomorrow about Manny, bae asked did he say what it's about, I told him all he said is that it's treatable, we'll know more tomorrow. I asked him what's Manny doing, bae said he's having ice cream and wanting to get home and see what Milo's doing, I said tell him I'm walking him as we speak, bae said he'll tell him, he's still wondering what's going on with Manny. I told him maybe we shouldn't say anything to him about it, until we know more tomorrow, Cece said I'm right, they'll see me when they get home, he hung up and I let Milo do his business.

After talking with James, I just watched Manny, I hope he's alright, he's been through enough, my phone rang again it's our doctor, I took the call, I'm told he wants to see me tomorrow, I asked what this concerning, she just said the doctor can tell me when I see him she can put me down for ten tomorrow morning, I told her I have another appointment near that time, can I just speak with the doctor, she told me to hold on she'll see if the doctor can speak with me.

I just waved at Manny while he ate his ice cream, the doctor got on the line and said he'd rather see me in his office, he got my test results back early, I was beginning to get scared, I just asked him am I HIV positive, he said no and like he said he can explain it to me tomorrow.

I told him if it's not that just tell me over the phone I can take it, he said even after he tells me he still wants me to come into his office, I told him fine now tell me. The doctor told me I have Pancreatic cancer, it begins in the organ lying behind the lower part of the stomach, the pancreas, he can tell me more when I see him.

I asked him what kind of treatment I'll need; he said it depends on the stage of the cancer, it can be just medication or surgery, there not sure of the stage, he wants me to see a cancer specialist, again he can tell me more tomorrow, I told him I'll be there and hung up.

Damn, does God hate me that he would let me get this, Manny needs me, and I need him, and I could die, and break his heart the poor kid will feel alone again, I held back the tears I couldn't let Manny see me crying. I walked over to him and asked does he like his ice cream, he said yes, and he thanked me for loving him, me and James, I almost broke down and cried, I told him thank you for letting us be his dad's, not many kids get that choice.

I told him let's go home and he can play with Milo, we walked to the car, I put him in the backseat and buckled him in, and I got in the car and drove home. When we got there, I just sat in the car, Manny said hurry up and let him out, he has to see what Milo is doing, I just sat there, I told Manny loudly, can he just wait, damn everything can't be about Milo, he looked at me. I got out of the car and opened his door, I unbuckled him and said daddy's sorry for saying that, he said OKAY, I just sat on the ground and cried, he told me don't cry he's alright, but I couldn't stop crying. Manny ran to the house.

Manny came into the house, calling for Mr. James, I asked him what's going on with him doing all that hollering, he said Ms. Liz something's wrong with his daddy Cecil, he's crying in the driveway, where is his daddy, James. I told him he's still out walking Milo; I took him by the hand, and we went outside, I said boss man are you alright, he said he needs James where is he, I looked down the driveway and he's running towards us. I took Milo's leash, Manny picked him up and told Milo something's wrong with his daddy as Mr. James was asking boss man what's wrong. I told Manny let's go in the house, Milo needs some water we went in, I hope boss man is alright.

Cece what's wrong is it Manny, he didn't say anything he just hugged me, babe I'm sure Manny will be okay, don't take it so hard, the doctor said whatever he has it's treatable, babe don't worry.

James, it isn't Manny, the doctor called me my test results got back early, he said I have Pancreatic cancer, he doesn't know what stage it is, he'll tell me more tomorrow, why would God do this to me now.

Bae said let's not focus on the negative, I have to think positive, I told him just hold me, I don't want to die, we cried together. bae got me up and we went into the house, I needed to wash my face, I didn't want Manny to see me like this, after I washed my face, we went outback, and I told Manny I didn't mean to scare him. I was just thinking about how happy I've been since he came here with us.

Liz told him he can have cookies and milk, he said okay, now he likes milk, God please let this be a mistake, maybe they can run the test again, James took me upstairs and we got in bed, and he just held me, I told him thanks for just being the man that he is, bae said it should've been him going through this, not me. I told him no everything happens for a reason, and right now I just have to play the cards that were dealt to me, I just cried again in James's arms.

Cece fell asleep and I eased out of the bed, I went downstairs to check on Manny, he's helping Liz make a cake, I just left the house and ran and kept running, I just sat on the curve and cried, I screamed why did this have to happen, and now I'm really scared about what's going on with Manny, I can't lose both of them.

I went back home and checked on Cece he's not in bed, I checked the bathroom he's not there either, I went downstairs and found him outside playing with Manny, bae acted as if nothing was wrong, he's just being strong for Manny, I played with them.