Nothing Left To Break

26

As soon as Thomas left The Garrison he called out her name. She couldn't have gone that far. He was wrecked with nerves. He didn't know what state she was in. She consumed his mind. He couldn't bear the thought of her wandering the streets, upset at this time of night.

He turns the corner into a random alley and that's when he sees her. Pressed up against the wall with her face pressed against one hand, and the other on her chest.

"Leilani" he breaths out, practically running down the alley to her. He needed to hold her close.

She doesn't react to his voice or his footsteps. She was consumed in a state of panic and couldn't think straight. She could barely make out the cobble street in front of her, thats why her eyes were shut. Trying to calm down her racing mind, that wouldn't fucking stop. God she just wanted it to stop.

Finally he is by her side.

"Look at me sweetheart" he says softly, reaching for her arm and pulling it gently away from her face. At that she opens her eyes and chooses to focus on him. She looks up at his worried blue eyes. And once again, a sense of relief washes over her as she finally let's her tears go. She practically falls into Thomas, as if someone had pushed her into his chest. He wraps his arms around her and just holds her, sadness consuming him.

He couldn't handle it. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve her family to treat her like that. She didn't deserve Thomas treating her like that. He needed to get a hold of himself. He needed to pull himself together, for her.

"They all lied. Why does everyone have to lie. I don't understand" she sobs painfully into his chest. The words vibrate through his body. He needed to tell her. Everything.

"Let's get you home" he whispers into her ear, pulling away slightly, still keeping an arm around her, pulling her into him.

---

Tommy lies her down on his bed, as soon as he does so, she curls up into a ball, practically hugging the pillow. Thomas sits down on the bed next to her. He knew that what he was about to say would hurt her, but he couldn't lie anymore. Not to her. He decided then and there that he would never lie to her again. He couldn't bear the fact that he had a part in her now vulnerable state.

"Grace was my first love since France" he starts. He hears Lani's sobs stop abruptly. He had all of her attention. There was no turning back now.
"We loved eachover. I thought that she loved me too. But one day she betrayed my family. She was a spy, lani" he speaks softly, recounting the harsh memory which he tried to hard to forget. Being with Lani had helped him to forget. He didn't want her to be part of his new relationship. He didn't want her to be in his mind anymore.

"Thomas.." she whispers softly reaching out one of her arms and trailing it along his back, which was turned to her. This prompted him to turn his head to the side, taking a much needed breath.

"She turned up at my office this morning. Asking for forgiveness and tried to kiss me, I pushed her away of course and told her to never contact me or my family again" he says, finally finishing his sentence and fully turning to the girl.

They don't say anything for a while. Instead, Thomas lays his feet on the bed and lies next to Lani, looking up at the ceiling.

"I promise I'm not a spy" Lani says, joking slightly, trying to make him feel better. Which, in all fairness, did. He chuckled slightly and glanced at the girl who had a slight smile on her tear stained face.

"I'm sorry for treating you badly" he states, not breaking eye contact with the girl. She takes a deep breath and looks straight back at him.
"I don't know what you've been through, but I know you didn't deserve that" he speaks sincerely.

Apparently it was Lani's turn to be sincere.

"I had fiancé in Wales before I came to London" she speaks honestly, earning a surprised expression from Thomas. He knew this was about to be an uncomfortable discussion. He braced himself for the following sentence.

"He served in France, he was sweet before the war. But when he returned he began to hit me, he raped me. He would hurt me and show no remorce. Thats why I hate small spaces, that along with Isaac." She continues, spilling all of her secrets, she couldn't look at him "Isaac just shut me away from everyone. He wouldn't let me have any control over my own life" she states all this calmly and casually, like it wasn't burning a hole into Tommy's heart.

"On mine and my fiancé's wedding day I ran away from him. I couldn't bear a life of control, abuse and manipulation" she says, placing her hand on his bicep, trying to calm herself. She hated speaking of Rhodri, and isaac for that matter.

"What's his name?" Thomas asked.

He couldn't live in the same world as someone who dared to lay a harmful finger on her.

"Tom..." she musters out.

"What's his name, Leilani" he presses, ignoring the fact that she didn't call him Thomas. Or at least pushing it aside for the time being.

"He's not going to hurt me anymore. I'm not going to tell you his name, Thomas" she says, demanding that he listens.

"Leilani, I can't know this and not do anything. Tell me his fucking name" he served with a lot of welshmen in France. After asking around a few of them, he would be bound to find out who he was. To find him. To make sure he never sees the light of day again.

"It's not your responsibility Thomas" she says harshly, turning away from him so she is curled up with her back to him. She didn't want him to get messed up in more of her personal business, her past. It didn't matter anymore. She shouldn't have told him, what did she think was going to happen? This was her fault.

Once again her walls went up.