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As I lay on Leandro's chest, so many thoughts go through my mind. What if my father bribes the judge for the judgment to be in his favor? What do I have back here in Chicago worth staying for? What if I live in Italy forever? What would happen if Fiona and I actually form à relationship as mother-daughter?
I can answer at least one of these questions.
"We can move to Italy, permanently"
"Really?"
"Yes. I would love to stay there, surrounded by the culture-" My words get cut off by a pillowy pair of lips coming crashing against my own. He kisses me deep, leaving me breathless and panting for air.
"I'm glad you want to stay in Italy."
"I love it there. And I love being surrounded by your family." He smiles at me, and we go back to thinking.
"How many kids do you want?"
"2, but close to age"
"What do you think about twins?"
"One girl and one boy"
"I like that"
"Would you like to go on a date with me?"
"I'm the one that's supposed to ask you that"
"Not necessarily" He smiles at me.
"I would love to go"
"Then get ready, we're leaving in 30 minutes" I get off Leandro, and hear him protest about him not having any time to get ready. Drama king.
I change into my clothes, and grab the object of our date. I want Leandro to know more about me. I want to let him in, and show him my world.
I grab the books, and head to the kitchen. I pack out fruits, and make my way to the driveway, with à blanket and the things we'll need.
"Why 30 minutes? I didn't even gel my hair?" Leandro walks out, grumpy as ever.
"You don't need it, and plus, I like your hair with no gel." I walk over to him and look up at him. He looks at me with desire swirling in his irises.
"Oh yeah?" His deep voice sends shivers down my spine.
"Yeah" I stand on the tip of my toes and give him à quick peck on the lips.
"Let's go before you make me wanna stay, woman" he grabs my wrist and drags me to the car, while I just laugh and follow him, but stop him.
"That's not the way" he looks back at me confused, but I don't say à word while I drag him to the backyard. We pass the garden, and I head straight for the meadow. I lay the blanket down, take out the matching books and the fruits I packed.
"Do you like it?" He looks back at me with à smile. "How could I not love it, it was your idea"
"Then sit down. Here's your book. I started annotating it for you, but I thought you would like to add in bookmarks and thing you like from it." I hand him the pens, the matching book art and some post it, in different colors.
"And you?" He asks, while picking up his copy of You've Reached Sam.
"I'm going to do the same. Have fun" and so, we both start our little reading date.
---
"Why would you do this to me, amorina?" Leandro whines, while I'm just dying of laughter. He wipes the stray tear out of my eyes and glares playfully at me. It's not the glares he used to give me.
The ones I got used to after a while.
"It's not that bad-"
"I'M CRYING" I double back down in laughter at his expression, and hand him a tissue.
"Now you see what I feel like when I cry over a death in a book, and you tell me to get over it?"
"I regret these words now" I chuckle, and hand him a piece of apple.
"I don't want an apple"
"Then what do you want? We have grapes, strawberries, raspberries-"
"I want you" I look at him confused, but when I see the solemn face he has, I reach him and straddle him, to comfort him. His arms automatically wrap around my waist to hold me in place.
"If ever I die, I want to have the same connection Julie and Sam had"
"I would want that too. I don't think I could ever let you go fully even in you died"
"So you woulnt shove yourself in an arranged marriage again?"
"Why would I when my love for you is eternal?" He brushes the hair out of my face, then looks at me in the eyes. Blue to green. Wait, did he-
"Did you just say that you love me?"
"Yes, I love you more than life itself. You are my first thought in the morning, and my last one when I go to bed. You consume me so much, it's hard for me to focus at work other than on you. You make me lose any sense of reason, and I would become a madman the day you leave this earth. You are my purpose. Because staying here without you, is meaningless. So they better make a coffin for two, 'cause if you're jumping, i'm jumping with you" I just stare at him, completely bewildered.
And I kiss him. I kiss him, conveying all my emotions into the kiss. Telling different stories, through our shared embrace. Telling the story of our rocky relationship up until now. Up until the peak point of a relationship.
Our first meeting, the first night I spent at his house, our first trip, our wedding, our trip to Greece, the way he treated me, the party, the dinner with his parents.
Up until now, where I'm straddling him, as he tells me he loves me.
I release it all in the embrace of our lips. Conveying all my emotion into the action, letting us feel each other through our emotional connection and our physical one. Everything around us is a blur as we kiss. It's only me and him.
We finally let go of each other, panting for air. Feeling the absence of him lips brings me back to reality, and I remember what he told me before i smashed my lips against his.
He loves me.
After years of feeling invalidated.
After years of doubting my worth.
After I found my soul sisters, I felt like some part of me was restored.
But not that I've found someone who loves me romantically, I feel whole.
I feel complete.
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