incorrect quotes

A

Some irl incorrect quotes because I'm bored

Fern, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Lunar: Hey.
Nep: Hi.
Lotus: Hello.
Koko : Hey!
Fern: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Eggs: We were out of Doritos.

Batteryboy: Alright, listen up you little shits.
Batteryboy: Not you Kitkat. You're an angel and we're thrilled you're here.

Kitkat: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Eggs: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
Ferret: Three of us saw it, Eggs. How do you explain that?
Eggs: *points at Nep* Sleep deprivation. *points at Ferret* Paranoia. *points at Lotus* Delusional personality disorder.

Fern: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Fern: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Nep: I did?
Fern: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Kitkat.
Fern: *walks away*
Nep:
Nep: They're gone Eggs.
Eggs, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!

Fern: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
Fern, gesturing to Batteryboy and Lotus fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

Fern: I can't believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they're all just posers.
Eggs: Fern, for the last time, we're at a funeral.

Lotus: You're pathetic!
Batteryboy: You're pathetic-er!
Fern: You're both losers.

Chaos: What's worse than a heartbreak?
Lotus: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

Batteryboy: You're not my friend anymore.
Lotus: I was your friend?

Fern: Kitkat, no.
Kitkat: Kitkat, yes.

Eggs, tearing up the room: Where are they?
Eggs, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?
Eggs: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

Fern: I will find us a covered wagon and horses.
Fern: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone.
Batteryboy: Oh, please. We're not children.
*Fern leaves*
Batteryboy, casually: ...Eat shit and die.
Lunar, also casually: Yes, fuck you.

Fern: I haven't seen blackstar and Kitkat for fifteen minutes now.
*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with blackstar and Kitkat running after it in a panic. Fern doesn't look outside at all.*
Fern: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

Lotus: girls are so hot
Lotus: guys are hot too oh man
Lotus: why is everyone so hot
Eggs: Global warming
Fern: There's the asexual

Now some correct ones (ones we've actually said)

Fern, very visably tired: did (stage manager) can we go home now?
Idk, also very tired: nooo
Fern: screw it time is a social construct I'm leaving *picks up backpack and walks outside*

(texting)
Eggs: I can't go to sleep
Eggs: my brain won't shut down

(Texing)
Eggs: I have another round stuck in my head
Fern: wha
Eggs: Shut down and turn around
Fern: YESSSS
Fern: BAMBAMBAM
Eggs: do not make a sound
Batteryboy: shut the fuck up
Batteryboy: I'm fucking trying to sleep
Fern: BAMBAMBAM BITCH-

(Texting)
Fern: if I do I won't go and if I don't I will go
Eggs: what logic
Fern: yes
Eggs: ok

(Texting)
Koko: hi I just ran across the planet
Fern: ooo nice
Fern: is it flat?
Koko: IM SO fucking tired
Koko: and no it is not flat
Fern: ok
Fern: is it a triangle?
Koko: the world is a sphere
Fern: ok

(Texting)
Eggs: I am learning Japanese
Eggs: and spanis

(Texting)
Lotus: White streak in my hair but no stress now!
Fern: trade off that guys looking like a mess now
Chaos: LET IS GLOWWW, LET IT GLOW
Fern: OMFC NO

(Texting)
Fern, Nep and Batteryboy: *having an argument*
Chaos: sup
Nep: oh hi chaos
Fern: hello chaos
Fern and Nep: *resume arguing against Batteryboy*

(Texting)
(For context Batteryboy is always telling us to do our homework in a rude dumbass way not as in 'I wanna help' way he says it in a 'you guys are irresponsible and not doing work' way
Batteryboy: I'm bored AF
Fern: L bozo
Nep: do your homework then
Batteryboy: no school life I bozo
Batteryboy: plus, I already did my homework
Nep: I bozo = Batteryboy
Fern: you guys had homework?

(Texting)
Lotus: *sends video*
Fern: *covers with stickers*
Batteryboy: stop putting stickers on everything
Fern: ok :[
Batteryboy: now go to horny jail
Fern: I'm not horny-
Fern: spamming stickers doesn't make you horny-
Batteryboy: now go to horny jail
Fern: I'm not horny tho-

(Texting)
Nep: I almost said cod to someone on discord today
Nep: y'all are bad influences