incorrect quotes

Hehe

Yeah

Hummingbirb , pointing to Batterybitch's empty room: YOU LET THEM ESCAPE?!?
Fern: I WAS ON BREAK.

Eggs: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

Eggs: How would you rate your pain?
Nep: 0/10. Would not recommend.

Eggs: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.

Fern: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?
Batterybitch: Um, murder???
Hummingbirb : Adventuring!
Eggs: Tuesday.

Fern: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

Hummingbirb : What's two plus two?
Eggs: Math.
Hummingbirb : ...I will accept that answer.

Hummingbirb : Why is Nep making me do the dishes again? You haven't washed them in a week, Fern!
Fern: It's because I'm Nep's favorite.
Hummingbirb : I hate you.

Hummingbirb : *holds a gun out to Batterybitch*
Batterybitch: I-I don't believe in guns.
Hummingbirb : Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

Hummingbirb : You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?

Eggs: Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law's face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with 'em! And maybe if you beat 'em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!
Hummingbirb : Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?
Eggs: Whatever caves first!

Fern, proudly: I slept.
Hummingbirb : Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

Batterybitch: Don't worry, I have a permit.
Nep: ...This just says "I can do what I want".

Eggs, when Fern walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.
Eggs: *accidentally smacks Fern in the face with the baking sheet*

Nep: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.
Hummingbirb : You're too young to have enemies.
Nep: You don't even know.

Hummingbirb : I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.
Batterybitch: koko is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Hummingbirb .
Koko: I feel like Hummingbirb  is the more responsible one of us two though.
Hummingbirb : We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.
Koko: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other's hands so the other doesn't fall off.

Eggs: I hate you.
Batterybitch: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Nep: I'm telling you, my team is competent.
Hummingbirb , rushing in: Nep! Fern tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Nep: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?
Batterybitch, cooking the fish: What? I couldn't hear you, please speak up.

Nep: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?
Hummingbirb : Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
Nep:
Hummingbirb : I don't know how you keep forgetting this.

Fern: Hummingbirb , Nep, I love y'all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?
Nep , trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Hummingbirb is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.
Nep: I love you too :)

Eggs, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.

Fern: Comparing Eggs and Batterybitch is like comparing apples and oranges.
Eggs: We're both unique in our own ways?
Fern: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.
Batterybitch: Which one of us is the orange?

Nep: Are you reading fan fiction?
Eggs , reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.
Nep: Oh, is it on AO3?
Eggs : This is CNN.

Fern: I'm sad.
Eggs: Don't be sad, because sad backwards is das.
Eggs: And das not good.

Batterybitch: Get on my level!
Eggs: Unfortunately, to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

Fern: When Eggs was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world."
Batterybitch: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

Nep: Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is—
Eggs: Cenotaph.
Nep: What?
Nep: It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph.
Nep: I'm... not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own.
Eggs: There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing.
Nep: Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish.
Eggs: So it's a temporary cenotaph.
Nep: And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity.
Eggs: Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.

Hummingbirb , looking at a map: It's a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it?
Batterybitch: Other side, Hummingbirb ..

Batterybitch: Some people are like slinkies.
Hummingbirb : What?
Batterybitch: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Hummingbirb :
Hummingbirb : Please don't push Fern down the stairs.
Batterybitch, pushing Fern down the stairs: Too late.

Nep: Strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.
Fern : Go the fuck to sleep Nep.

Nep: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.
Batterybitch: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Nep: I wanna be a knight!
Hummingbirb , a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I'M DEAD INSIDE!
Nep: Man, I want some of that in my life!

Eggs: Don't you have any dignity, Nep?
Nep: Uh, no.

Hummingbirb: State your name, rank, and intention.
Eggs : Eggs , Eggs , dumbass.

Fern: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi.
Batterybitch: Fern, NO!