Forgotten Memories

The strange feeling

  It had been more than a month since I had come from my homeland. I was there alone, watching him secretly next to the window.

However, I had come with a friend. But due to some important work, he had to go back and it was going to take some days for him to come back which was making me feel lonely.

The person for whom I had come did not even know me. Although it wasn't his fault.

I was alone, there was no one whom I knew, I knew just me, isolated in that strange world looking at him.

All that effort, loneliness, and discomfort just for that one person. He doesn't even know me not even to himself.

How funny the situation was, he was in front of my eyes whom I had been searching and waiting for such a long time.

That thing was different, even if I wanted to, I could not do anything at that time except stand next to the window and watch.

I was so happy that I found him, I want to express in words the happiness that I was feeling at that time while watching him after such a long time. But I don't have the words to express it.

However, for some reason I was feeling a bit strange, feeling a little bit different from the inside which I wasn't able to understand.

Like, I wanted to do something, I wanted to see him carefully, I wanted to feel him, I wanted to say something, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to do everything I could but something was stopping me.

I had no idea what's that and then suddenly I started to feel strange.

It wasn't as easy the way I would have thought. At some point, I was feeling hopeless. Time was passing so slowly, a second felt like a century.

I was clueless about everything around there. I didn't imagine things would go this way.

I had thought about finding him, telling him everything and he would understand on my first meeting. Here now, he was in front of me, I had no idea what to do, I was so frustrated.

I felt like my eyes wanted to go cry. Taking my time, I touched my eyes it was wet, was I crying? I didn't know but the tears were in my eyes.

Without a word, I touched my chest, it was warm my heartbeat was faster than before.

"What is happening?" I asked myself, I felt strange.

I looked down and took my time to feel normal however looking down I was horrified, "What happened to me?... What is this?... Why is it happening?... I never felt this way before." a lot of strange questions started to come.

All of a sudden the flash came into my mind of myself crying so badly like I had lost everything.

I moved away from the window and leaned against the same wall. I was strong but not at that time.

Tears came from my eyes, "No, I can not handle it," whispered and sat down.