Forgotten Memories

Seventeenth Year

    Why did I have to go away? Why couldn't I hold him in my arms? Why did this happen to me? Why it has to end like this? My tears couldn't handle that. My heart was heavy.

The universe doesn't show any mercy to any, it can be cruel than this, but why on me? Why always me? Was I created simply to endure pain? No one was there to give me the answer to these questions.

My tears were true those days, that day, today and even now. Was I not worthy of happiness?

He was so precious to me, his life was precious to me, and I wanted to be with him, more. He will always remain in the depths of my soul and my heart.

He was 46 the day he died, I, his wife, was in front of him. That day was nastier than this, it always made me feel empty, lost, alone, weak, and isolated from everyone. I had never imagined my life without him.

My condition was extremely poor. I was traumatized, Tears were coming out of my eyes, however, I was not able to move or react to anything, Just enduring pain and standing still.

However, I never knew how he died for which my soul still cries. At least I deserved to know that, but the universe did not allow that as well.

My mother was worried seeing me like that, she could not understand what to do. She was trying her best So that my condition didn't get any worse. Yet, nothing was working on me, She was nervous.

She knew something which I did not know, she knew something more important that I needed to know, but I was not aware of the thing, which she was aware of.

"There... there is a way to get him back," As soon as I heard this from my mother, I felt as if a flower had just bloomed within my heart.

At that moment, the atmosphere, the feeling, my thoughts, my soul, my mind, everything turned into something unknown, which I never had felt before.

Tears were not stopping, I was not moving, I was emotionless, I was hopeless, and everything was happening within my body. It was a new emotion.

Hearing that, Hope came to my face, and my mother told me further where his soul would go now. It was the world of humans. The feeling was strange, I felt as if everything was happening too fast to understand.

"The world of humans... Yes," saying the sentence inside my body a strange smile appeared on my face. However, I did not know a thing about the human world.

"But to bring him back we need something which we do not have, we are not capable of that." Mother's words again reached my ears but whatever was happening was happening inside me, it was as if I was lost in the world of a coma, where I could do nothing except shading tears from my eyes and listening from my ears.

It was a different matter that I did not want to say or do anything. I wanted to go with him, lost in his soul, even if it was a death.

That embrace of my mother brought me back to my senses, and it was then sadness, sorrow and pain appeared on my face, seeing that even tears came into my mother's eyes as well.

"Do something... mother... please," Holding my mother, having painful tears in my eyes, I spoke slowly. She explained to me everything once more and after listening to his words, a hope arose inside me. A true hope which made me alive that day.

However, to get something you have to lose something. And for that hope, I had to gamble with my life, I had to die, to start the journey of finding him back.

My mother was definitely against this because there was no guarantee. I could lose my life and never be born again, lost and never be found again. There was a small chance, more risk.

Nevertheless, I took that small chance because there was no meaning in living a life without him, which I had never imagined.

According to my mother, all this was possible at one specific time, which was in his seventeenth year. But to connect with his soul, I also had to be seventeen.

To make all that possible, we had to know the speed of time, the insight, and the awareness of the world where he was about to be born.

With the assistance of a wise old man, my friend, we came to know that the time in the human world was faster than we ever imagined. Which made our chances even smaller.

My mother tried to stop me once more but I was not going to stop. I was stubborn, I was going to do that, even if it led to death.

Why one can not control the soul after the death? A question arises in my head.

After several months of process, I got a new life, but I had to go against nature and grow faster than normal so that I could meet him at the age of seventeen. It was all in the hands of my mother, she never told me why only seventeen was important.

However, due to that process, I faced many obstacles during my growth, I did not even have any idea why I was getting weakness, pain, which I never deserved, darkness, and suffering which I never wanted.

The day I turned seventeen, my mother gave me back my memories. It was then, that I realized that my life had become shorter, my body was weaker, the reason behind pain, suffering and what I had done to reach him.

Yet still, tears of happiness were coming out of my eyes, knowing that now it was the time to meet him, see him, feel him again. My tears were happy that day.

"Listen, you don't even realize what you have done for him, bring him back before time, and remember, the day you feel a burning sensation on your navel, that burning sensation will be a signal for you to move away from him, the first ray of the morning after that burning sensation of your navel will steal away the memories of him from everyone, at that time if you will be with him then the weaker one among the two will die, so you must come back here before the first ray of the morning... Before you forget everything, otherwise I can not even imagine the consequences."

My mother's last words and I was just listening quietly, standing still, her aura was emotional, She was sad.