Forgotten Memories

Pain Behind The Tears

   From the next morning onwards I started staying with him in his room, now I had someone to call my own.

As he had said, He was making sandwiches every day and I was eating them gladly having smiles on my face. He was treating me like I was his daughter, how beautiful that was.

After a few days, he started eating his dinner with me in his room. Although I used to eat only sandwiches, by then sandwiches had become my favourite. Sometimes he gets confused about why I was eating only sandwiches, I did not have any answer. 

He taught me how to cycle, he taught me everything that I did not know.  We used to listen to songs together,  play chess, walk in the night holding each other’s hand, laugh, and play games like Truth and Dare, puzzles, riddles and more. I was happy, What else I can wish for? Nothing, it was all. 

Even after so many days, he never asked me where I came from, nor did he make me feel lonely.

It seemed as if I had been living with him for centuries as if I had never been separated from him.

And The day had come when I had to go, I wanted to stay with him more, I wanted to tell him everything he deserved, I wanted to take him with me, even though I had come for that but I could not do that.

That day, I wanted to see him with all my heart, I wanted to be with him better, I wanted to make that day, that moment last forever,  but I had only a few hours.

“What happened?” he asked me after dinner, “are you alright? You are acting a little different today, Don’t worry, my mom hasn’t seen you and she doesn’t have any doubt either, don’t worry... If you are still not feeling good, we... we can go to Your place, the bus stop.”

He kept saying all his own but he did not know the truth, he did not know that was the last day, he did not know anything, I was just staring at him. How innocent he was, how pure he was.

I took him to the bus stop one last time. We walked holding each other’s hand, I was silent, feeling his warm hand, his presence, his scent.

The things I did not tell him that he deserved to know, I wanted to tell him but that might be painful for him.
We reached the bus stop and I was still silent.

“Hey... What happened?” his lovely voice, I won’t even be able to recall.

“Nothing” I replied looking into his eyes, “why do you care so much?”

“How did I fall in love with you? I care about you because I love you, I have never seen beauty like you, a pure soul like you, your beautiful eyes, your nose, your lips, your nature, your scent, your voice, you, I have never seen anyone like you, you, You are beyond, to be honest, anyone who will see you for the first time, He will fall in love with you at first sight and you staying with me is still like a dream but now I feel even if this is a dream I want to be with you in this dream, it is not just your beauty, and soul but something else from inside which attracts me towards you... Yeah, today I’m saying I love you.”

He maintained his words, I kept listening to his every word as if I waited for decades for those words to be told.

Looking at his lips, without saying anything I kissed him, his lips, chicks, nose, forehead, eyes closed, deep breaths, Tears came from my eyes, and I hugged him.

His soul became shy that night, "I don't wanna go, I hate this," my silent tears, gave him goosebumps all over his body, he felt cold, I hugged him tighter, "No, no, please," the pain in my voice made him anxious. My tears were true even the silence of night knew.

He just kept asking what happened again and again but I did not say anything. I did not dare to tell him the truth, not at that moment.

“Will you, Please tell me... Please.” For the first time, he was about to cry. I could not hold my tears, I tried to hide myself in his arm. So that he could feel my heart, my pain which was coming from my eyes.

"Please... hey, what happened, don't cry like this, please, will you tell me, I will cry too, if if you..." he started shivering, I did not want to see his tears, I couldn't.

Slowly, controlling myself, “Okay, I will tell you, let us, let us reach home,” my voice did not sound like me.

I did not want to see in his eyes. The night wind, lights, the road, and the souls knew the truth he did not know. My tears did not want to stop.

On the way, I did not see in his eyes, I could feel his worry, that tension in his mind, His anxiety, his fear, I could feel everything.

We reached and silently went inside through the window. No one was saying anything. We both sat on the bed, I held his hand, looked into his eyes, caressed my forehead with his, closed eyes, and after a few moments, he fell asleep.

I put him on his bed and after seeing him one last time, kissed his lips, “I love you, this was the pain behind my tears, sorry, I have to go, and will never be back, I am sorry I never, I never tell anything which you deserved.”

I went away having tears in my eyes. Saw one last time his innocent face. My tears were not stopping, they were killing me inside.

I did not tell him that I was not a human, his mother and any human could not able to see me with their eyes.

He was the only one who could see me, feel me. Because I was his, always,  I had come just for him. But I failed just like my mother had said.

The first rays of the morning will take away his and my memories forever, the remaining things will be loneliness, sadness and sorrow, only the soul will be able to understand.