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seth fixed an intense gaze on ryan, showcasing a candy cane in one hand and a menorah in the other. "so, what's it going to be, huh? you want your menorah or a candy cane, hmm? christmas or hanukkah?"
ryan hesitated, uncomfortably whispering, "um... i'm not-"
"ah!" seth interrupted with enthusiasm, "don't worry about it buddy, because in this house, you don't look have to choose. allow me to introduce to you a little something that i like to call... chrismukkah."
"here we go." savannah rolled her eyes, unpacking a box of ornaments in the corner. "chrismukkah?" ryan questioned. "that's right." seth grinned, clasping his hands together, "it's the new holiday, ryan, and it's sweeping the nation."
in the midst of his riveting speech, sandy and kirsten strolled in through the front door, lugging the family's christmas tree inside, "hey. we got the tree." seth grinned noticing it.
"guys, a little help?" sandy pleaded, wrestling with the unwieldy tree. savannah and ryan made their way over to help move it while seth stood by directing everyone, "i saved a spot for you right there. put your muscle into it. excellent. to the right a little. to the right, don't hurt it.. those needles are brittle! that's perfect."
as the family begrudgingly collaborated to move the tree, savannah lowered it with an exaggerated eye-roll, shooting her brother a look that could have melted icicles. unfazed by their silent protest, seth burst into sarcastic applause, "you guys... you guys... a+, a+. i love the holidays. i love them all."
"we didn't really know how to raise seth." kirsten explained to ryan, her tone carrying a mix of nostalgia and bemusement.
taking the reins of the narrative, seth meticulously continued, "yeah, so i raised myself, and in doing so, i created the greatest super holiday known to mankind, drawing on the best that christianity and judaism have to offer."
"and you call it chrismukkah." he concluded, raising a brow.
seth gasped in mock awe, "just hearing you say it makes me feel all festive. allow me to elaborate." with purposeful strides, he approached sandy, "you see, for my father here, a poor struggling jew growing up in the bronx, well, christmas meant chinese food and a movie." then, turning his attention to kirsten, he continued, "and for my mom over here – waspy mcwasp – well, it meant a tree, it meant stockings and all the trimmings. isn't that right?"
"we're very proud." sandy nodded, his lips curling in a semi-sarcastic smile. "and now he gets to give you the same speech he gave to me on my first chrismukkah." savannah smirked.
